antique bakery

As I'm typing a new blog spot right now, my back fucking hurts. Like seriously. I have no idea why; might be because I was sit-sleeping at the wrong position when in the car just now :\

On wednesday I met up with Daphne and we set out for Claris' place. XIN YING'S BDAY PARTY!!!! Supposedly a bbq, but it turned out to be a take-out party LOL. 'Twas a really fun event. And I finally got to meet up with Alvin and co, and XY's church friends again! How lucky~

I made her a mini photo album for her birthday present this year. Had a lot of photos of us all together since secondary 1, and I wanted to let her feel nostalgic, like how I did, and exclaim "WHOA!!! This photo is SO OLD!!! Can't believe its been so long then!!" while pointing at some random picture lol.

Well I'm partially famous for making gifts that have sentimental value. Those of you who haven't received such things from me...Uh...Wait, okay? >_>;;
I'm horrible at picking things that might tickle your fancy, so I just get/make whatever I can that I know might suit you/make you happy.

Btw, I had some trouble making the album. In fact, I only started it a day before the party LOL. And finished it on the same day. Ahaha. Firstly...See, my printer has no colour-ink, so I always ask my dad for help. But that day...MY DAD TOLD ME HIS OFFICE'S PRINTER WAS OUT OF ORDER!!!!! And I was almost going mad already, because I was in a rush (heh, serves me right for starting on the gift late :\). But he managed to get me the required cartridge for my own printer. When I was about to print, THERE WAS NOT ENOUGH PAPER. WTF WTF WTF?!?!?! LOLOLOLOL. Guess what I used? Remember the blank pages from the O Level and A Level question papers? Yeah, I used those. LOL. Honestly, that's the most..ridiculous thing I've ever done.

Anyways, back to the present. I just marathoned a 12-episode anime, "Antique Bakery". And I suddenly feel like having french dessert-cake at a classy cafe. That would be LIFE.

And I'm having some slight family problems...Sigh, its always dad. I mean, starting this year he's changed, like ALOT. He loses his temper over the smallest things, and it always happens whenever we have a family outing together. I've always been the one trying to console my dad, like just cheering him up in my own ways. But now...I just feel exhausted of having to accommodate my father's irregular temper all. the. time. I don't hate him, but I just find it thoroughly tiring. Not to mention, my sister and father had somewhat of a major falling out on MOTHER'S DAY because of driving. And their relationship has soured ever since. Sure there are light hearted jokes every now and then, but I just feel that everything's changed..I feel as if the bonds are falling apart. And today we had a slight falling out over dinner issues. I mean, it just keeps happening again and again and again WHENEVER WE HAVE A FAMILY "OUTING". Wtf, you know? My dad is still pretty cheerful around me (uh...I'm probably more normal about jokes and laughter than my sister is :\), he's always been like that with me since I was young, but now, I've already grown tremendously, well, not PHYSICALLY. But you get the gist. I can't stay a kid for my dad forever, you know? But I always hate to see my dad's dejected expression when I uh..give irritated looks. I have this bad habit of losing my temper whenever I'm disturbed (someone coming into my room and asking conversation-worthy questions) especially when I'm in the middle of WATCHING something, or when I'm extremely absorbed into reading something online. I don't mean to look and sound so angry, but that's just me. Right now I'm thinking of putting the sign "PLEASE DO NOT DISTURB" on my door whenever I need to. That way, I won't be hurting anyone unnecessarily. Sigh, I just feel that my family is in shambles.

Father's Day is coming, and I initially wanted to propose that our family go out to a chinese restaurant this time(over the months, I gathered that my dad seriously doesn't exactly enjoy western cuisine even though he's had it countless times back at his office years ago), but now I don't know what to do. I have a feeling that my father will reject the idea because we might all end up feeling miserable if he loses his temper over something. My dad...When he's angry/extremely annoyed/frustrated...His mood will dampen deeply and remain unchanged throughout the day and night. Maybe I should gather my mom and sis and tell them not to make any mistakes(being late, or arguing, whatever) this time, if not it might be family event..I guess you could say that this time I'm going to try to let us make it up to him.

On the other hand, my dad's at fault for being so temperamental. Even if he were to suddenly fire up, he shouldn't stay like that for the next few hours. Instead, just apologize and joke around. Honestly...If there's anyone..wait ANYTHING, breaking up the family, it'd be his temper. I don't hate him, nor his behavior, I just...feel like I'd die if our family would break up emotionally. Everything feels so fragile now, and its like, hanging by a piece of thread..

Come to think of it, why am I doing so much when I'm not in the wrong at all? Even though I already know the answer to that question..Its because my family is most precious to me, next to God. I seriously hope that things will turn out alright..We're a family...and we must stick together.. Honestly, I wonder when we can all wake up from this horrible nightmare. I'm just totally sick of it, its just so hard to try and patch things up all by myself..I feel like a one-man army facing a wave of despair..I honestly have no idea what to do. I want to stay on my dad's side, you know, let him know that I'll always be there for him - afterall he's been a perfect father, for me at least, and I don't want to leave him alone. Somehow this makes me wonder what my sister and mother are going to do, and how they stand. I think...if our family breaks apart..I'll still stand on my dad's side..I never want to leave my dad or mom alone..ever.

Well anyway, that's that. I can't remember anything else to post about, so that's it for now. Ciao.

15th June 2009

- EDIT -
I don't think I ever want to get married. I'd hate for my husband to turn out like that. And its troublesome having men around. Serious.