so they say

"If you love somebody, you should set them free."


Ronan Keating - The Long Goodbye


I can't help but feel an extreme and ineffable saddness from realizing something..

No matter how good a friend you make, no matter how much you think he or she was meant to be your soulmate (on a friendly basis), they are destined to leave you - once they have found their special someone to spend their lives with..

Your friends' hearts - they never belong to you - no matter how much you treasure them. I understand..I understand..I really do understand all these. Afterall, finding that special someone is (supposedly) everyone's goal - even mine. I've come to a point in life where I can understand and accept things that are inevitable, and still be able to smile at that.

But I cannot help but feel so lonely deep inside, and I must ask for your forgiveness for being selfish - even if it isn't my intention to be such...

Because I'm still alone in my love life, my friends hold an important place in my heart. And even more so, for someone who's practically spent the past 7 years of her life supporting me. But..For these important people to leave me one day like this...

I can't help but uncontrollably shed tears that I don't want flowing out of my eyes. These tears don't mean "I don't want you to leave me." rather, they carry the words "I know you have to leave me one day, but for now, the saddness that accompanies such a farewell - its too great for me to bear."

I am fully aware that we all will still remain friends - its not like we're leaving each other. Its something like..This farewell from you is "Our relationship is something of the past - and I can smile at it because it was good! You still hold a very important, an irreplacable place in my life.". But I know, and I understand that this place in your heart that you have given me to occupy is not great - not as great as the one person who will fill the rest of your heart with more love and hope than I could ever give to you.

I am not jealous. I am in fact, happy and will be, for when you, my friends, find your destined person. (:

But I wonder..

Will I be able to say the same thing to you, as you did on that day to me, when I've found my special someone?


30 December 2009

(Please scroll down for next post entered on same day.)