If you add them all up

So why am I so stressed out and unhappy?
Well, first thing is, I am busy. Now, everyone's busy, so if I feel busy that's normal right? Well, so yes, I feel its normal too. But the highlight is this - I don't ever put aside my work to go out and enjoy myself. No one really asks me out either. No one's telling me 'Girl, you need a break.' And anyways I don't just listen to anyone so I will only seriously consider that if you understand me.

I don't even know if I want to go out. I've so many things on my mind all the time and these things are always about work. I can never have the time, or rather, I just don't put aside time to think for my well-being because time is so precious now and work is apparently No. 1 on my list. I'm just working and working all the time because no one sways my thinking that just working without playing is alright.

Sure, you can argue with me 'You're already an adult, you should be able to balance your own life.' Yeah, I'm balancing it. I'm just working and raging and ranting about having no life. I'm just putting more weight on work. Its like there's a never-ending list of things to do. Once I finish something, there's something else. And its precisely because of this that I don't ever think about wanting to go out.

Just, really, I don't even know how to express all this and its making me even more pissed since no one really understands where I'm coming from. You're not me afterall, and I don't blame you.

I'm just really unhappy. There's honestly nothing for me to look forward to. Everything seems like either work, or an obligation. And you can clearly tell how I'm not enjoying myself at all. I just don't know how to go about balancing my life anymore. "There's always new work to do, so its entirely up to you to balance your time out." ...Right.

I'm just all alone, unhappy, stressed and working to keep my mind off all this. Though in fact, because I keep being like this that it just keeps getting worse. Recess week is next week and I don't feel like I can relax at all!

"failed dual way..."
"bubble of protection..."
"easy way out..."
"responsibilities of an adult..."
"in limbo..."
"balance..."
"just who am I?..."