God finally spoke to me

First off, I'm a christian. So if you don't like reading about christian posts, skip this.

Basically, all of my fears and prayers I had in 2008 were answered on this very Sunday, and I was VERY, VERY happy.

As a christian, I've always felt like a lost sheep, like I'm losing my way, as if I'm not walking with God anymore. I kept praying, "Lord, guide me back. Be the shepherd that lights up my path. Keep me in your mercy and grace."

The church service started off with songs and praises, as usual. When I was young, I always felt that God spoke to me through the lyrics of the songs I sang. And today's lyrics were...very comforting. "Open my heart. Open my heart to you. Lord, I want to know you. Give me the strength to walk with you." I was tearing up, but I kept it all in. I was yearning for an answer to my prayer. I cried because I felt as if I was abandoned. Like, anything I did wasn't helping at all. But somehow...this time, I felt comfort..I felt as if God wants me back. And I was happy, overjoyed.

After the singing session, came the sermon. Our old pastor came back to us today, to preach about Issiah 11:1-10. Again, this sermon was comforting. Somehow, I always felt as if I'd not live beyond 20 years. But God made me look past this.."fear", He made me see the beauty in not fearing death, but embracing what comes after it - Heaven. "The New Heaven and New Earth is what will replace this currently deteriorating universe." the pastor said. This old World is full of war, shattered peace, sadness and loneliness. But the New Heaven and Earth would be peaceful - there would be no spilling of innocent blood. The lion would dine on grass with the lamb, the calf would lie with the snake. God made me see past this old World that I detest, He made me want look forward to a new World.

The Stump of Jesse. (Jesse is the father of King David.)This was about how God would cut off King David's lineage of sons as a warning to the Israelites, who were sinning against God. However, God's promise to King David - that his sons would always sit upon the throne of Israel - is always eternal. We all know that shoots will always emerge from a stump - and I instantly thought of rebellion from the Israelites. But the pastor immediately touched upon that.

"A new shoot will grow from this stump. And he is Jesus Christ - who is of King David's lineage. Jesus is God's promised Hope to His people. And God's promise to King David was kept."

If you understand me well, you'll know that I've become someone without much Hope. But this sunday...I was made to believe in Hoping anew. Its not like I've gained some enlightment. Its not it at all. I was just so comforted, so happy. And I'm very, very grateful for all of this.

I was just absolutely happy that day. And I can't even begin to describe my happiness. My prayers were answered. And I don't feel lost anymore. I just pray for courage from God, courage to want to know Him better. After all, He's my Lord, my God, and my dear friend.

I just pray that I will never forget what happened on this Sunday. Because if I do, I'll become a lost sheep again.