Re-watching NANA makes me think about quite a lot of things with regards to a certain fondness I've developed for a particular person..

First was this: Is it alright to be fond of someone I still don't really know? Is it really okay? Is it okay if its me and not some other lady?

Next..Oh wait, this next one is private.

Finally, if he's actually looking for the always sweet, cuddly, cute and 60% not-so-innocent me...I'm sorry, she's not always here. If he doesn't like any other part of me accept that personality...I'm sorry..she's not always here.

And if its true that he prefers that personality...I'd be hurt. Because that isn't 100% me. Its only a portion of my character. He brings out that side of me - but will he be able to accept the true me? The me that Daphne, Lynn, Maybo and so many others know. If he cannot..Then this whole friendship is better for cyberspace - I'm better off distancing myself away from him...I'm better off sticking to hoping that I"ll meet someone else in the future.

Its been such a long, long time. I thought I had finally found someone that I'd be quite fond of, but it turns out that I'm still so doubtful of many, many things...And its all because of me.

I'm sorry this blogpost is so irritating, but its what I feel now - I'd like to cry it out a little but the tears just aren't coming out. Forgive me...Forgive me, for I'm thinking too much. After all, he has no obligation to me, and neither I to him. I talk to him because I want to. But in the end...what can we really talk about to make conversation? I'm fine with just talking - but..I sense that he isn't if we aren't talking about *something*..

I hope I'm wrong. I don't wish for him to read this post. I hope I'll be proven wrong about my doubts..I guess tonight I'll be having some trouble sleeping peacefully..Because I'm not feeling happy..

NANA - A Little Pain