so before I start off the bulk of this post, let me just get a few things off my chest first! XD
one, DAMN MY SEC 3 TUITION KID IS CUTE! Like, the boyish cute. Seriously, he might be ALOT younger than me, and according to him, "the shortest one in class, the smallest one, too light for a guy, too skinny for a guy", I'm like "Dude, if I were younger than you, I wouldn't mind you lol." Plus he seems to have an awesome character. I really pray that girls won't mind his height so much lol. At least, for me, I'll always be shorter than general guys, so I have no problem finding taller guys lol. When I tried comparing our heights, he was like "I AM TALLER THAN YOU LA" to which I replied "I THOUGHT WE WERE AT SIMILAR HEIGHTS OMG" Ah well. He's really cute :p but no worries, not going to step over boundaries here. BUT DAMN AM I LUCKY LOL. He has an awesome character, and damn "When I talk to you, I feel like I'm talking to a friend than a teacher." I SHALL TAKE THAT AS A COMPLIMENT :D!! TO ALL THE YOUNG GIRLS OUT THERE, THIS IS A GUY YOU SHOULD BE FRIENDS WITH LOLOLOL.
next, DAMN MY STYLIST LEFT A BIG IMPRESSION ON ME. BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH I ONLY SEE HIM ONCE EVERY TWO TO THREE MONTHS, I THINK OF HIM SOOOO FONDLY AND QUITE OFTEN BECAUSE HE'S SUCH A NICE, NORMAL GUY. DAMN LOL. He's always asking me, in chinese, "Going pak tor today ah?" to which I always reply no (honest), he says "Aiyooo, why never??" LOL AND THE WHOLE CONVERSATION IS ABOUT OUR CURRENT LIVES (in general terms). I'm really fond of him in that friendly way XD
ON TO THE BULK OF THE POST.
I WENT TO USS TODAYYYYYYYYY YAIZZZZZZ With my mom and sis~~ I had everything for free since they paid for everything >< I feel really bad sia, gotta make sure I pay them back or return the favors when I start working lol seriously.
So we headed to USS in the morn at about.. 11am? And spent the whole day there lol. We rode almost every single ride out there, like, at least one for each of the different attractions (Sci-fi, Egyptian, New York, Far Far Away, Madagascar etc) BUT THE FIRST WAS THE TRANSFORMERS RIDE OMG I WAS LIKE "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUU--------" FOR THE -WHOLE- RIDE LOL. I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA DIE OF HAVING NO WORDS TO SAY DURING THE WHOLE RIDE LOLOLOLOL And we sat RIGHT IN FRONT. SO IT WAS AWESOME. DAMN lol, after trying all the rides already, we thought of doing the transformers ride again - but the waiting time was still as horrid as about an hour long at least lol. So yes, on average, if its a clear sunny day, an hour's long of wait is usual.. I won't complain about that because its something thats hard to avoid (: But thank goodness, for the next two rides, because of the rainy weather where people gave up queueing for the two outdoor roller coaster rides, we got in without much waiting :D LOL WE SAW MOM CLOSE HER EYES FOR THE RED ROLLER COASTER HAHAHAHAHHA AND SIS WAS LIKE "AIYO SO WASTED LOL!!!" and when she further told us "Nvm, sometimes I close one eye only." sis went "OMGGG EVEN WORSE LOLOL" HAHAHAHAHAH THAT WAS SO FUNNY. PLUS OUR STUPID WTF :OOOOO FACES TAKEN ON THE CAMERA LOOKED LIKE "LOLOLOLOLOL" my mouth gapped wide open, and sis's as well LOL we were laughing at each other HAHAHAHAHA.
AND DAMN LOL SIS AND I TOOK THE 360-TURN BLUE RIDE TWO TIMES AHAHAHAHAHA IT WAS SO FUCKING AWESOME LOLOLOLOL. Mom didn't take this one because the red one was just nice for her already XD!!!!! DAMN THIS RIDE WAS JUST FUCKING AWESOME. The transformers one was just AWESOME, that 3D experience and all that. BUT THIS ROLLER COASTER RIDE WAS SO FUCKING THRILLING LOLOLOL I told sis, "Yeah...gonna be addicted" HAHAHA. OH YA! The second time we took the blue ride, I suggested "...Lets seat at the first row this time round." AND LOLOLOL THAT WAS JUST FUCKING AWESOME SHIT LOLOLOLOL Damn I really never knew roller coasters were meant to be THIS THRILLING. I was always afraid or not really interested because I always feel that, because of my weight and small size, I may really FLY OUT of my seat. But now that I think about it, there are YOUNGER CHILDREN TAKING THIS. So I was like '...yeah, they're even lighter than me.." So yeah, I HAVE THUS CHANGED MY OPINION OF ROLLER COASTER RIDES NOW, AND I LOVE THEM HAHAHAHAHA.
So anyways, those were more of the highlights of the day for all of us - since we're all adults, these attractions were better to us in our opinion. the kids rides that we sat are relaxing, and a good way to slow down the day.... THOUGH IN THE END SIS AND I TOOK THE BLUE RIDE (SECOND TIME) AS OUR ENDING RIDE OF THE ADVENTURE HAHAHA. Just DAMN LOL WE'RE SUCKERS FOR THIS THRILLING EXPERIENCE. ah well.
oh yes, we had pizza for lunch! It was really niceeeeee. When we just entered USS, sis and I were like "... I smell nice pizzas." so yeah, that just decided the pizza's fate for our lunch ;D THEN WE HAD CHILLI'S FOR DINNER at around 10pm. DAMN THAT WAS SO DAMN NICE. THE FOOD WE SHARED WAS JUST SO FUCKING AWESOME. I JUST *HAVE* TO EAT AT CHILLI'S AGAIN I FUCKING SWEAR. (http://chilis.sg/) I JUST MUST. EAT. AT. CHILLI'S. AGAIN. I DON'T CARE. DAMN I SHALL JUST DRAG YOU PEOPLE TO TRY IT OUT. ITS FUCKING AWESOME - to me anyways. FREE FLOW OF MAJOR DRINKS - the blackberry iced tea was NICE! And the chicken crisps, and the starting salad. BIG PORTIONS, REAL HONEY MUSTARD SAUCE, NICE CHICKEN CRISPS AND BRILLIANT FRIES, SALAD, CORN DAMN ALL JUST IN TWO DISHES ONLY! JUST... FUCK, I MUST EAT AT CHILLI'S AGAIN. Aside from RWS, there's one at tanglin mall ;D
I think that's about it for today, really. It was just really fun at USS, and the general experience at RWS was good ^^ I don't know if I'll go back again, but...
...Yeah, I think its just blatantly obvious how much I enjoyed myself HAHAHAHAHA
CIAO!
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Thursday, December 15, 2011
fun days
so I went to Desaru for a nice getaway at the Lotus Beach Resort with my uni clique – 6 of us in total. And it was fun because of the good company! I wouldn’t say that the resort is top-knotch, but whenever you have good company – usually everything turns out GOOD! (: and it helped that we didn’t argue at all during our stay there. We lived under one roof in a 3 bedroom apartment lol – and I was pretty worried that we’d argue who’d use the bathroom, or whether we could share some toiletries etc. but thank God that we all were open with all these things and didn’t mind it at all.
I wonder what it’d be like if I lived like that with you girls instead? We might end up arguing over certain things :p not that I’m saying we definitely WILL, but with our friendship on the line, damn I’m pretty afraid of that. I’m usually anything, but I don’t know about some of you XD we’ve all been separated all over the place for too long that we’re not spending almost everyday together now, unlike during our secondary school days heh. I do hope though, that if we ever go on a trip together, that we still be respectful, humble, and give-and-take to each other (:
Anyways, back to the original intent of this post lol. To start off, damn we had to wake up early to catch the first train at 540 so as to make sure we wouldn’t be late for the coach lol >< though at first, we were to go by ferry, but a few weeks before departure, the guide told us the ferry terminal to Desaru suddenly got shut down – or something like that. So we had to wake up pretty early to catch the coach instead =W= 5am – I haven’t woken up THAT early in a LONG LONG while LOL. Oh yes, when I boarded the train, it was pretty surprising to see that the seats were almost full already! I had TOTALLY expected (and wanted) an empty train of sorts for the peace and quiet, but I guess not.
So it’s officially my first time out of the country on my own with friends – and it was a really really good experience. I really enjoyed it a lot.¬¬ all that independency was refreshing. Being out of my family’s protection but at the same time we looked out for each other – I’m really, really glad we cared for each other that way, especially when we passed the borders yup.
silvia and I sat beside each other for the whole journey during the coach and we were the two who were always sleeping LOL especially the first day before we reached the resort.
so after we passed the border, they took us to the fruit farm as per the itinerary. but before that, we had a short stop for breakfast at the JB area since some of the other passengers (who signed up for the same tour package to Desaru) requested for a breakfast stop. the 6 of us ended up eating at a cafe instead of the coffee shop. most of us were feeling full already, so we just had something light like toast and/or beverage. I had thick toast spread with peanut on top ^^
so after that we slept on the coach (again) and headed for the fruit farm. TBH, Amanda and I weren't really listening to what the guide was saying, we were just doing some photo-taking of the plants there and doing some of our own observations (; scientist much? heh plus we got to taste really fresh, albeit really sweet too, passionfruit juice. yup it was fresh alright,with all that crushed pulp lol. it was quite an eye-opener to be seeing all those plants and fruit trees actually. they also had a zoo lol. a mini zoo. which I think was... well I don't really like going to zoos because the animals are kept there in captivity. seeing animals in cages isn't something I enjoy much. they should be free (: I guess you could say that farm was a pretty commercialized one, even the guide said so himself, so I was thinking to myself "money-leeching bastards" lol. I hope the animals there are treated okay at least.
so anyways, after that we had a... what they called "fruit lunch" but to me, it was like regular lunch LOL. when the itinerary read "fruit lunch" I really thought it was lunch FULL OF FRUITS ONLY. which would've been fine as well. but anyways, the lunch was niceeeee. I wouldn't say it was DELICIOUS, but it was good enough for my taste and appetite haha. I ate quite a bit lol :p then after that we had a little talk on bees keeping management - or summin' like that. silvia was like "omg.. I don't want to sit through a LECTURE when we're on holiday! -.-" HAHAHAHAHA I agreed with that. at least they gave each of us a sampling of honey ;) and it was TASTYYY. and I was sooo tempted to start a new habit of taking a spoon of honey everyday LOL yeah... since they say good honey is nutritious. ah well.
and that was the end of the tour on the itinerary. the rest was just free and easy, like we wanted, and the tour guide left us to our own stuff for the rest of the stay thank goodness lol it was more like, the fruit farm tour was a complimentary thing LOL the real tasty bit was just having time to ourselves hahahaha. so when we arrived at the resort, OMG IT WAS CROWDED. yeah.. so it was goodbye to peaceful quiet days. but hmm, maybe it was better that way, since I was with friends and enjoying the quiet days with my own stuff isn't really nice lol. better to just spend your time with company (; I can always do my own things on my own time at home or something anyways. so! hmm.. we started off playing card games, as usual we did monopoly and uno lolololol. whilst snacking heh. but at the end of it all we were too tired already lol and so some of us ended sleeping for a while (silvia did) I think I did too, on the chair lol.
by the time we were ready to head to the beach, it was about... 5 or something. we spend about two hours there just putting our feet in the crashing waves hahaha. and camwhoring. lol. it was really nice to step on the sand barefooted and all. been a few months since we last did that haha. though, the first time we stepped into the water was with our slippers on. AND ONE OF MINE ALMOST FLOATED AWAY LOLOLOLOL thank goodness Kai Bin was quick... but she got wet because of that haha >_> after that we just decided to head back to our room for a bath and of course, our instant noodles dinner. we had in our plans to go drinking that night too, at the bar, after our dinner and some games and some tv haha. I ended up sleeping a bit whilst waiting for amanda to finish bathing (I'd already showered by then). seiously, for the whole day, I was just so tired whenever we'd finished any activity lol, and silvia too. we both slept late the other day hahaha. well actually, I had lights off at about 11-12, but could only sleep TWO HOURS LATER OMG. I was rolling in my be with alot of things on my mind zzz. so I ended up having only like, what, 3 hours of real sleep? wth lol. ah wells. back to the post.
so we went drinking, AND IT RAINED THEN! haha. the whole day was just dry until night, thank goodness! well of course we were stranded in the rain till about 11pm+ lol only Kay and I drank non-alcoholic beverages - we had fruit punch lol. the rest drank alcoholic stuff. and Kai Bin got red so fast lol - the other girls kept teasing her about it XD plus we had wedges to go along, with mayo and mustard NAISE. I MUST EAT WEDGES WITH MUSTARD AND MAYO AGAIN SOME TIME. sadly we didn't bring games with us so we could only talk and self-entertain lolol. but it was alright. when the rain let up, we decided to return to our apartment before the rain got heavier again lol. so the last thing we did before sleeping was MASKING! yes, we brought out masks along for the trip and did them together as the before-sleep activity :D it was a nice quiet peaceful time we had. haha.
by the time we went to sleep, it was about 1am I think. ALL of us were too freaking tired already lol so it was really easy to fall asleep, unlike the previous night for me -.-' it was a REALLY good sleep I swear lol. though the next morning when I woke up my arms were kinda aching lol. we then had breakfast at the resort ballroom before leaving on the coach. the guide then told us suddenly he'd prepared a surprise extra activity - and he brought us to this food festival, which was only like 2/5 opened lol. only a few of the stalls were open, but at least he gave each of us 10 RM worth of coupons to spend at the fair. so yeah I spent some of it on water apples since my parents like them and gave the rest to weng lin since I had nothing else to buy really haha. then we all just headed for the border and back to singapore after that~ we discussed and decided to have dinner together at causeway point lol, but Kai Bin ended up throwing up before we even ate anything - she looked really uneasy so we sent her home first after the rest of us ate, before going back ourselves~ AND THAT WAS THE END OF THE TRIP! yup.
lol one thing is, when we entered Singapore, it just started to get REALLY DARK. AND IT RAINED WHILST WE WERE ON THE BUS TO KRANJI MRT LOLOLOL. three of us missed the bustop, and so they had to walk all the way back to kranji from the next stop LOL. WHILST IN THE HEAVY RAIN. HAHAHA. damn seriously this whole trip was FULL of funny/memorable things happening HAHAHAHA.
thanks to the good company this trip was really good ^^ AND FUNNY hahahahahaha XD
I wonder what it’d be like if I lived like that with you girls instead? We might end up arguing over certain things :p not that I’m saying we definitely WILL, but with our friendship on the line, damn I’m pretty afraid of that. I’m usually anything, but I don’t know about some of you XD we’ve all been separated all over the place for too long that we’re not spending almost everyday together now, unlike during our secondary school days heh. I do hope though, that if we ever go on a trip together, that we still be respectful, humble, and give-and-take to each other (:
Anyways, back to the original intent of this post lol. To start off, damn we had to wake up early to catch the first train at 540 so as to make sure we wouldn’t be late for the coach lol >< though at first, we were to go by ferry, but a few weeks before departure, the guide told us the ferry terminal to Desaru suddenly got shut down – or something like that. So we had to wake up pretty early to catch the coach instead =W= 5am – I haven’t woken up THAT early in a LONG LONG while LOL. Oh yes, when I boarded the train, it was pretty surprising to see that the seats were almost full already! I had TOTALLY expected (and wanted) an empty train of sorts for the peace and quiet, but I guess not.
So it’s officially my first time out of the country on my own with friends – and it was a really really good experience. I really enjoyed it a lot.¬¬ all that independency was refreshing. Being out of my family’s protection but at the same time we looked out for each other – I’m really, really glad we cared for each other that way, especially when we passed the borders yup.
silvia and I sat beside each other for the whole journey during the coach and we were the two who were always sleeping LOL especially the first day before we reached the resort.
so after we passed the border, they took us to the fruit farm as per the itinerary. but before that, we had a short stop for breakfast at the JB area since some of the other passengers (who signed up for the same tour package to Desaru) requested for a breakfast stop. the 6 of us ended up eating at a cafe instead of the coffee shop. most of us were feeling full already, so we just had something light like toast and/or beverage. I had thick toast spread with peanut on top ^^
so after that we slept on the coach (again) and headed for the fruit farm. TBH, Amanda and I weren't really listening to what the guide was saying, we were just doing some photo-taking of the plants there and doing some of our own observations (; scientist much? heh plus we got to taste really fresh, albeit really sweet too, passionfruit juice. yup it was fresh alright,with all that crushed pulp lol. it was quite an eye-opener to be seeing all those plants and fruit trees actually. they also had a zoo lol. a mini zoo. which I think was... well I don't really like going to zoos because the animals are kept there in captivity. seeing animals in cages isn't something I enjoy much. they should be free (: I guess you could say that farm was a pretty commercialized one, even the guide said so himself, so I was thinking to myself "money-leeching bastards" lol. I hope the animals there are treated okay at least.
so anyways, after that we had a... what they called "fruit lunch" but to me, it was like regular lunch LOL. when the itinerary read "fruit lunch" I really thought it was lunch FULL OF FRUITS ONLY. which would've been fine as well. but anyways, the lunch was niceeeee. I wouldn't say it was DELICIOUS, but it was good enough for my taste and appetite haha. I ate quite a bit lol :p then after that we had a little talk on bees keeping management - or summin' like that. silvia was like "omg.. I don't want to sit through a LECTURE when we're on holiday! -.-" HAHAHAHAHA I agreed with that. at least they gave each of us a sampling of honey ;) and it was TASTYYY. and I was sooo tempted to start a new habit of taking a spoon of honey everyday LOL yeah... since they say good honey is nutritious. ah well.
and that was the end of the tour on the itinerary. the rest was just free and easy, like we wanted, and the tour guide left us to our own stuff for the rest of the stay thank goodness lol it was more like, the fruit farm tour was a complimentary thing LOL the real tasty bit was just having time to ourselves hahahaha. so when we arrived at the resort, OMG IT WAS CROWDED. yeah.. so it was goodbye to peaceful quiet days. but hmm, maybe it was better that way, since I was with friends and enjoying the quiet days with my own stuff isn't really nice lol. better to just spend your time with company (; I can always do my own things on my own time at home or something anyways. so! hmm.. we started off playing card games, as usual we did monopoly and uno lolololol. whilst snacking heh. but at the end of it all we were too tired already lol and so some of us ended sleeping for a while (silvia did) I think I did too, on the chair lol.
by the time we were ready to head to the beach, it was about... 5 or something. we spend about two hours there just putting our feet in the crashing waves hahaha. and camwhoring. lol. it was really nice to step on the sand barefooted and all. been a few months since we last did that haha. though, the first time we stepped into the water was with our slippers on. AND ONE OF MINE ALMOST FLOATED AWAY LOLOLOLOL thank goodness Kai Bin was quick... but she got wet because of that haha >_> after that we just decided to head back to our room for a bath and of course, our instant noodles dinner. we had in our plans to go drinking that night too, at the bar, after our dinner and some games and some tv haha. I ended up sleeping a bit whilst waiting for amanda to finish bathing (I'd already showered by then). seiously, for the whole day, I was just so tired whenever we'd finished any activity lol, and silvia too. we both slept late the other day hahaha. well actually, I had lights off at about 11-12, but could only sleep TWO HOURS LATER OMG. I was rolling in my be with alot of things on my mind zzz. so I ended up having only like, what, 3 hours of real sleep? wth lol. ah wells. back to the post.
so we went drinking, AND IT RAINED THEN! haha. the whole day was just dry until night, thank goodness! well of course we were stranded in the rain till about 11pm+ lol only Kay and I drank non-alcoholic beverages - we had fruit punch lol. the rest drank alcoholic stuff. and Kai Bin got red so fast lol - the other girls kept teasing her about it XD plus we had wedges to go along, with mayo and mustard NAISE. I MUST EAT WEDGES WITH MUSTARD AND MAYO AGAIN SOME TIME. sadly we didn't bring games with us so we could only talk and self-entertain lolol. but it was alright. when the rain let up, we decided to return to our apartment before the rain got heavier again lol. so the last thing we did before sleeping was MASKING! yes, we brought out masks along for the trip and did them together as the before-sleep activity :D it was a nice quiet peaceful time we had. haha.
by the time we went to sleep, it was about 1am I think. ALL of us were too freaking tired already lol so it was really easy to fall asleep, unlike the previous night for me -.-' it was a REALLY good sleep I swear lol. though the next morning when I woke up my arms were kinda aching lol. we then had breakfast at the resort ballroom before leaving on the coach. the guide then told us suddenly he'd prepared a surprise extra activity - and he brought us to this food festival, which was only like 2/5 opened lol. only a few of the stalls were open, but at least he gave each of us 10 RM worth of coupons to spend at the fair. so yeah I spent some of it on water apples since my parents like them and gave the rest to weng lin since I had nothing else to buy really haha. then we all just headed for the border and back to singapore after that~ we discussed and decided to have dinner together at causeway point lol, but Kai Bin ended up throwing up before we even ate anything - she looked really uneasy so we sent her home first after the rest of us ate, before going back ourselves~ AND THAT WAS THE END OF THE TRIP! yup.
lol one thing is, when we entered Singapore, it just started to get REALLY DARK. AND IT RAINED WHILST WE WERE ON THE BUS TO KRANJI MRT LOLOLOL. three of us missed the bustop, and so they had to walk all the way back to kranji from the next stop LOL. WHILST IN THE HEAVY RAIN. HAHAHA. damn seriously this whole trip was FULL of funny/memorable things happening HAHAHAHA.
thanks to the good company this trip was really good ^^ AND FUNNY hahahahahaha XD
Sunday, December 4, 2011
dream days
so now that the exams have ended, ITS TIME TO PLAYYYY!!!! loads(well, not really) of meet ups to plan, CHRISTMAS CARDS TO MAKE - yes, you read them right - I'm making them this year. christmas solutions.. yeah, still cracking my brain! x_o plus, the christmas party on the 23rd!
though TBH, THIS BREAK IS TOO SHORT!!! C'MON! THIS SEMESTER WAS CRAZY!!! AND I ONLY HAVE ONE MONTH TO RECOVER? THAT'S JUST UNFAIR. But ah well.. what can I do but to make the best out of it eh?
So anyways.. for those who're curious, or want to know what I'll be up to this break so that you have an idea what I'll be doing:
Anime
Yes, probably loads of it.
Gaming
Replaying my old rpg's (I started on NWN 1 during revision week LOL)
AND ALSO PLAYING OTOME GAMES. Yes, again. Because in actuality, I've only played ONE so far, ever since I got into the fandom, and that was Vampire Knight which I haven't finished. By that, I mean that I haven't finished playing ALL routes. I got the basic story done, but I'll have to play through it again and again, but targeting different guys, and different endings - each time lol. VK aside, I've started on Miyako. Harutoki style - ancient feudal japan and all. There's so much kanji to read that my brain blows after a few hours of reading this game lol. Yes, I really mean READING, its a visual novel, slightly different from VK where there were interative games and all. This time, Miyako, until now, I've only been reading the story as it unfolds - not much to DO on my part, except try to read those kanji I haven't been exposed to yet - its really quite challenging. That aside, I'm really excited to be playing my second otome game haha. I haven't the slightest about what to REALLY expect for this game, because I resisted reading spoilers and all that. Don't wanna form any pre-expectations for this game :p Regardless of whether it turns out good or bad, I still want to enjoy it for the experience ^^
Meet ups
Yes, I have a few to plan lol. Most are TOT style - Talk over Tea. Though it doesn't have to be tea XD But you get the general idea~
Puss in Boots with Daph, XY, and hopefully our moms lol. Yes, you read that right. My mom wants to watch it too, and when I mentioned it to XY she also expressed interest in bringing her mom too lolol so it'd be nice if Daph's mom could join us as well. It'd be quite an experience lol.
TOT with Vanessa and Rachel. Currently waiting for Ness to contact me about her schedule and all.
TOT with Ben - another Ben, mind you. Not the 14 years older one LOL Not the one year older one either. The one who was in my group for Accounting. He just keeps suggesting on a meet up. No worries, I'm not getting any ideas, and neither is he. Because he's already attached yup. No border-crossing here. Just plain old TOT. Gotta discuss with him soon enough when I can catch him online.
XQ and Vicky coming over tomorrow to watch Gantz together at my place yup.
Maybe, juuuuuust maybe, meet up with my jap level 3 friends. Not much of an idea about how it'll come to pass, its just a maybe.
Christmas
Aside from the party, I have cards to make, and also prezzies to think of. Please don't expect anything fancy from me this year either XD Its going to be really simple... But I swear the card is going to be better than the prez, in that sentimental way. Oh yes, I also have to make Ben(Aussie)'s card too. More like a greeting card for him lol, since he's not on much. Come to think about it, I'm quite glad I have his address because other than online, that's the only way I'm able to ask about his well-being LOL But that's how it is with online friends - I haven't contacted James either, sadly. But I do see him on facebook now and then, so I'm guessing he's doing okay, at least. With all that mess in the UK - I'm hoping he's alright. Then again, you can't get too sentimental when it comes to online friends because first and foremost, you're both miles apart - and so there's just THIS much you can do for said person - unlike friends who are with you in the same country.
Japanese
Yes, I have to practice it. Its rusty after a semester of not touching it at all -_- I ALSO need/would like to/plan to revise organic chemistry =_= because of next semester's modules.... AIYA DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT ALL THIS NOW ZZZ. Jap is okay though. :D
Reading
YES, FINALLY BACK TO READING. I hope to read all the books I've stalled up so far.. physical and soft-copy. Damn its really quite alot to read, though I really prefer the physical/hard copies.
I think that's about all for this post. I'm splitting my posts up because they're all about different things.
though TBH, THIS BREAK IS TOO SHORT!!! C'MON! THIS SEMESTER WAS CRAZY!!! AND I ONLY HAVE ONE MONTH TO RECOVER? THAT'S JUST UNFAIR. But ah well.. what can I do but to make the best out of it eh?
So anyways.. for those who're curious, or want to know what I'll be up to this break so that you have an idea what I'll be doing:
Anime
Yes, probably loads of it.
Gaming
Replaying my old rpg's (I started on NWN 1 during revision week LOL)
AND ALSO PLAYING OTOME GAMES. Yes, again. Because in actuality, I've only played ONE so far, ever since I got into the fandom, and that was Vampire Knight which I haven't finished. By that, I mean that I haven't finished playing ALL routes. I got the basic story done, but I'll have to play through it again and again, but targeting different guys, and different endings - each time lol. VK aside, I've started on Miyako. Harutoki style - ancient feudal japan and all. There's so much kanji to read that my brain blows after a few hours of reading this game lol. Yes, I really mean READING, its a visual novel, slightly different from VK where there were interative games and all. This time, Miyako, until now, I've only been reading the story as it unfolds - not much to DO on my part, except try to read those kanji I haven't been exposed to yet - its really quite challenging. That aside, I'm really excited to be playing my second otome game haha. I haven't the slightest about what to REALLY expect for this game, because I resisted reading spoilers and all that. Don't wanna form any pre-expectations for this game :p Regardless of whether it turns out good or bad, I still want to enjoy it for the experience ^^
Meet ups
Yes, I have a few to plan lol. Most are TOT style - Talk over Tea. Though it doesn't have to be tea XD But you get the general idea~
Puss in Boots with Daph, XY, and hopefully our moms lol. Yes, you read that right. My mom wants to watch it too, and when I mentioned it to XY she also expressed interest in bringing her mom too lolol so it'd be nice if Daph's mom could join us as well. It'd be quite an experience lol.
TOT with Vanessa and Rachel. Currently waiting for Ness to contact me about her schedule and all.
TOT with Ben - another Ben, mind you. Not the 14 years older one LOL Not the one year older one either. The one who was in my group for Accounting. He just keeps suggesting on a meet up. No worries, I'm not getting any ideas, and neither is he. Because he's already attached yup. No border-crossing here. Just plain old TOT. Gotta discuss with him soon enough when I can catch him online.
XQ and Vicky coming over tomorrow to watch Gantz together at my place yup.
Maybe, juuuuuust maybe, meet up with my jap level 3 friends. Not much of an idea about how it'll come to pass, its just a maybe.
Christmas
Aside from the party, I have cards to make, and also prezzies to think of. Please don't expect anything fancy from me this year either XD Its going to be really simple... But I swear the card is going to be better than the prez, in that sentimental way. Oh yes, I also have to make Ben(Aussie)'s card too. More like a greeting card for him lol, since he's not on much. Come to think about it, I'm quite glad I have his address because other than online, that's the only way I'm able to ask about his well-being LOL But that's how it is with online friends - I haven't contacted James either, sadly. But I do see him on facebook now and then, so I'm guessing he's doing okay, at least. With all that mess in the UK - I'm hoping he's alright. Then again, you can't get too sentimental when it comes to online friends because first and foremost, you're both miles apart - and so there's just THIS much you can do for said person - unlike friends who are with you in the same country.
Japanese
Yes, I have to practice it. Its rusty after a semester of not touching it at all -_- I ALSO need/would like to/plan to revise organic chemistry =_= because of next semester's modules.... AIYA DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT ALL THIS NOW ZZZ. Jap is okay though. :D
Reading
YES, FINALLY BACK TO READING. I hope to read all the books I've stalled up so far.. physical and soft-copy. Damn its really quite alot to read, though I really prefer the physical/hard copies.
I think that's about all for this post. I'm splitting my posts up because they're all about different things.
channel
I know I'm probably too sensitive about certain things, but that's how I handle them..
For example, I'm actually really sensitive towards Joseph, its probably because of how I see him in a different light.. he's a friend, but he could also be more than a friend. the fact that he thinks similarly but isn't doing anything about it just spells "No thank you" to me. I admit I'm also too busy to date, but he doesn't treat me as someone "I've known for 9 years". He DID say "Well, I've known you for 9 years, that just spells something." It used to mean something to me, but now? No, it doesn't. "I'm more close to my uni friends right now." Well sure, who wouldn't be lol, in their first year, I'm also happily friends with uni people. But even so, I also expressed interest in meeting him up in school once in a while, and on numerous occasions. But he didn't do the same. I guess I should never have expected anything from him. That's when I started thinking, I can never get along with this person. So I decided I never wanted to have anything to do with him ever again. So what did I do? I blocked him off msn, facebook, and ignored any message he sent. See, THAT'S how I handle things when it comes to this person. Previously I would just get him off my mind, but now, no thanks - I don't want to have anything to do with this person anymore. He's a stranger in my life, and that stays permanent.
another example would be HM. I'm not spelling out that name here because that person has the url to my blog - though whether he actually VISITS it is another issue. Anyway.. I'm pretty sure you all know about how I thought I might be liking this person some months ago. But recently, I found out he has a girlfriend now. Was I devastated? Admittedly, somewhat. So I told myself that I was probably confused with how he treated me so well when he was back in Singapore, that it gave me some vibes. But in the end, it turned out my hunches were wrong ^^' Now that he's back again, I.. haven't the desire to meet him up in a group. I just don't know how to face him and I also don't want to see him. So that's how I'm handling this.. I'm just not meeting him up for the time being. I don't want to talk to him either. I don't know when he'll be going back though.
So there you have it.
For example, I'm actually really sensitive towards Joseph, its probably because of how I see him in a different light.. he's a friend, but he could also be more than a friend. the fact that he thinks similarly but isn't doing anything about it just spells "No thank you" to me. I admit I'm also too busy to date, but he doesn't treat me as someone "I've known for 9 years". He DID say "Well, I've known you for 9 years, that just spells something." It used to mean something to me, but now? No, it doesn't. "I'm more close to my uni friends right now." Well sure, who wouldn't be lol, in their first year, I'm also happily friends with uni people. But even so, I also expressed interest in meeting him up in school once in a while, and on numerous occasions. But he didn't do the same. I guess I should never have expected anything from him. That's when I started thinking, I can never get along with this person. So I decided I never wanted to have anything to do with him ever again. So what did I do? I blocked him off msn, facebook, and ignored any message he sent. See, THAT'S how I handle things when it comes to this person. Previously I would just get him off my mind, but now, no thanks - I don't want to have anything to do with this person anymore. He's a stranger in my life, and that stays permanent.
another example would be HM. I'm not spelling out that name here because that person has the url to my blog - though whether he actually VISITS it is another issue. Anyway.. I'm pretty sure you all know about how I thought I might be liking this person some months ago. But recently, I found out he has a girlfriend now. Was I devastated? Admittedly, somewhat. So I told myself that I was probably confused with how he treated me so well when he was back in Singapore, that it gave me some vibes. But in the end, it turned out my hunches were wrong ^^' Now that he's back again, I.. haven't the desire to meet him up in a group. I just don't know how to face him and I also don't want to see him. So that's how I'm handling this.. I'm just not meeting him up for the time being. I don't want to talk to him either. I don't know when he'll be going back though.
So there you have it.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
its a promise.
funny,
I'm never surprised by things that don't work out in life.. I just knew they wouldn't work out, and I wouldn't blame you for it because I just knew you'd say "Sorry." I've half resigned to this fate of always saying "Yeah,.. I knew." If I were to look at these from a third person's POV, I'd say these are just some temporary stops on the road that God had prepared for me so that I could learn lessons about life. People I find always have bad compatibility with me so I always wonder whether fate is toying with my life this way.
Of course, you could say I'm still young (:
I'm never surprised by things that don't work out in life.. I just knew they wouldn't work out, and I wouldn't blame you for it because I just knew you'd say "Sorry." I've half resigned to this fate of always saying "Yeah,.. I knew." If I were to look at these from a third person's POV, I'd say these are just some temporary stops on the road that God had prepared for me so that I could learn lessons about life. People I find always have bad compatibility with me so I always wonder whether fate is toying with my life this way.
Of course, you could say I'm still young (:
Sunday, September 25, 2011
and counting
this is on a totally unrelated note.
keeping my options open,
I should just stop thinking too much into it since I've done what I can,
I'll just let time take its course, and see whether fate's in my favor this time round.
now that's that....
and its back to reality.
keeping my options open,
I should just stop thinking too much into it since I've done what I can,
I'll just let time take its course, and see whether fate's in my favor this time round.
now that's that....
and its back to reality.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
If you add them all up
So why am I so stressed out and unhappy?
Well, first thing is, I am busy. Now, everyone's busy, so if I feel busy that's normal right? Well, so yes, I feel its normal too. But the highlight is this - I don't ever put aside my work to go out and enjoy myself. No one really asks me out either. No one's telling me 'Girl, you need a break.' And anyways I don't just listen to anyone so I will only seriously consider that if you understand me.
I don't even know if I want to go out. I've so many things on my mind all the time and these things are always about work. I can never have the time, or rather, I just don't put aside time to think for my well-being because time is so precious now and work is apparently No. 1 on my list. I'm just working and working all the time because no one sways my thinking that just working without playing is alright.
Sure, you can argue with me 'You're already an adult, you should be able to balance your own life.' Yeah, I'm balancing it. I'm just working and raging and ranting about having no life. I'm just putting more weight on work. Its like there's a never-ending list of things to do. Once I finish something, there's something else. And its precisely because of this that I don't ever think about wanting to go out.
Just, really, I don't even know how to express all this and its making me even more pissed since no one really understands where I'm coming from. You're not me afterall, and I don't blame you.
I'm just really unhappy. There's honestly nothing for me to look forward to. Everything seems like either work, or an obligation. And you can clearly tell how I'm not enjoying myself at all. I just don't know how to go about balancing my life anymore. "There's always new work to do, so its entirely up to you to balance your time out." ...Right.
I'm just all alone, unhappy, stressed and working to keep my mind off all this. Though in fact, because I keep being like this that it just keeps getting worse. Recess week is next week and I don't feel like I can relax at all!
"failed dual way..."
"bubble of protection..."
"easy way out..."
"responsibilities of an adult..."
"in limbo..."
"balance..."
"just who am I?..."
Well, first thing is, I am busy. Now, everyone's busy, so if I feel busy that's normal right? Well, so yes, I feel its normal too. But the highlight is this - I don't ever put aside my work to go out and enjoy myself. No one really asks me out either. No one's telling me 'Girl, you need a break.' And anyways I don't just listen to anyone so I will only seriously consider that if you understand me.
I don't even know if I want to go out. I've so many things on my mind all the time and these things are always about work. I can never have the time, or rather, I just don't put aside time to think for my well-being because time is so precious now and work is apparently No. 1 on my list. I'm just working and working all the time because no one sways my thinking that just working without playing is alright.
Sure, you can argue with me 'You're already an adult, you should be able to balance your own life.' Yeah, I'm balancing it. I'm just working and raging and ranting about having no life. I'm just putting more weight on work. Its like there's a never-ending list of things to do. Once I finish something, there's something else. And its precisely because of this that I don't ever think about wanting to go out.
Just, really, I don't even know how to express all this and its making me even more pissed since no one really understands where I'm coming from. You're not me afterall, and I don't blame you.
I'm just really unhappy. There's honestly nothing for me to look forward to. Everything seems like either work, or an obligation. And you can clearly tell how I'm not enjoying myself at all. I just don't know how to go about balancing my life anymore. "There's always new work to do, so its entirely up to you to balance your time out." ...Right.
I'm just all alone, unhappy, stressed and working to keep my mind off all this. Though in fact, because I keep being like this that it just keeps getting worse. Recess week is next week and I don't feel like I can relax at all!
"failed dual way..."
"bubble of protection..."
"easy way out..."
"responsibilities of an adult..."
"in limbo..."
"balance..."
"just who am I?..."
Saturday, September 17, 2011
this goes out to someone
I have so many things to say but I don't know where to start.
setting aside what I told you recently by sms, I want to say these things, and no matter how insensitive this is, I think its better if you knew. I'm sorry that I can't sugarcoat these words.. the last thing I want to do is to hurt you, but I'm hurt, stressed and isolated enough as it is. I think its very difficult for me to consider your feelings this time round and as much as I don't want this post to destroy our friendship, or make you want to severe ties with me, I have absolutely NO ONE ELSE to talk to about all this so that I don't have to take it out on you. Every one person I think of.. it just feels that they live separate lives from me and I can't connect. But at least they hear me out. Still, no matter how they hear it out, I just feel that the problem will never alleviate and its like they're my alcohol to this problem, just a drug to numb the feelings for a while before having to take the drug again. I feel SO ALONE, and to me, you're basically not there anymore. I can't blame it on you either, because we DO LIVE separate lives, and we "don't get to meet often". I put "" because I know that in actual fact its me who "can't" meet up because of my work. I don't know what to say really. You try to reach out to me, but you also consider my priorities, my obligations, and everything else about me, so much so that you only ask how my day is, or have a great day, as if you're a stranger who's trying to wish me well. You never express your desires. So according to you, you don't say much but you care alot, I trust in that, but in all honesty, recently, just knowing you care isn't enough anymore. You can consider your busy schedule akin to mine, so if you know that I'm so occupied, do you think I have the time to actually remind myself "She cares for me."? Our friendship is only living on the messages we send each other. LOL, sounds pathetic isn't it? Its like in our busy schedules we just send random text messages to keep in contact. What's up with that? Its like a desperate attempt at keeping our friendship alive. Both of us do that. I'm not one to say this, and neither can I say something like this to someone like you but "Words alone aren't convincing enough." I'm sorry.
I don't know why I feel so negative about us right now, its probably because of the kind of life I have now - which you know only the general part - I'm studying frequently. I suspect I have to leave you alone often soon too since your semester will be starting, sad as that may seem. Because like you, I understand how important it is this new semester is to you like how my semester is to me. And so the consequence of this? We don't meet often. You don't even TELL me, you only explained to me ONCE that you wanted to ask me out ALOT OF TIMES but didn't attempt to since "you understood I needed to study" and didn't want to disturb me. And the very few times you did, I always rejected them because it was so out of the blue......Argh, I just don't know how to put it. Its just totally not like randomly going out with someone. If it were May Bo, yeah I could do a random hanging-out thing. I don't know but every time you try to ask me out, I just feel that its always at the wrong time. The way you ask, perhaps? I just...just...I don't know really, I don't even know what I'm feeling now whether its just profound sadness, depression, hurt, unsatisfaction, gosh I could write a list. There's just something wrong about us. I can't do normal things with you, I can only do sentimental things with you.
Do you even really know what's going on? No, because I don't tell you even when you ask. Why? Because its random, and I feel like I can't connect with you with what I can say to people who can really understand my situation. We're just so separated now and there's nothing I can do about it, nor suggest, that can make things better because whatever either of us do, it just feels out of the blue and plain weird.
Continuing from, "Do you even really know what's going on?" - No, obviously you don't. You want to know? Sure I'll say it here. Its not everyday I get to blog but just tonight I feel so so so pent up I can't take it anymore and I might just go kill myself from all these things. So I know you know that I'm constantly studying. Do you know what kind of consequence that has for me? Add in that I don't hang out with my uni clique because they all are the go-home-immediately type, and I'm not close to anyone of them, neither can I be close to some other people like I want to because they already have their sticky partner and I don't want to intrude. Do you know what I've become as a result? I'M BECOMING AN ISOLATED, LONESOME, DEPRESSED, SOCIALLY-DEPRIVED PERSON. Try adding on this, "I can't even connect to, nor find solace, in my closest friend anymore." I don't know what to do, there's no one helping me(yeah, according to adults that should be the case yeah we should be independent yeah I'm independent in my own ways), no one's telling me "Girl, you need to take a break." and even my family is like "I totally understand you need to study, don't worry (:" I feel like ABSOLUTELY NO ONE FUCKING CARES IF I HAVE A LIFE ANYMORE BECAUSE WHEN THEY SEE ME ALL THEY SEE IS ME STUDYING AND STUDYING AND STUDYING AND THEY GO "I should leave her to concentrate because that's her life right now." Of course I'm grateful, but you know, as a result, there's no one who can comfort me. I feel like I can keep crying and crying and crying nonstop to the point where I just give up crying and go end it all. I'm sorry, I'm not strong enough for such an onslaught of piling negative feelings that the only way out that I can think of is just to stop everything. Either go kill myself or just continue tumbling down the rabbit hole by going on like this because, afterall, like I always say, "One day's sleep will do the trick." (: !!!!
You're working now and I understand why you don't even come online, and that you're very tired once you're home and you have other obligations. Yeah, I totally understand this. But you know what kind of consequence this had on me? That I could never talk to you nor share my deepest troubles with you anymore because doing it on the phone or on sms just doesn't cut it. Its like "You're just being there for me. You're concerned for me." but you can't connect with me anymore, no matter how you should wish otherwise, and I'm serious when I say that. I just feel that I can't repair this anymore, we're just too separated, and I should just only talk to you about random things, but I can't share my troubles with you anymore. I suppose its because I'm superimposing on you my need for a sticky partner when clearly I really can't see you that way afterall. Before uni started everything was beautiful but at the start of this semester, with your presence in my life diminishing by a million times each week, add on the fact that you're the only person I only depend on for comfort and company right now, everything's changed. I'm sorry for superimposing my needs on our friendship..
I'm sorry for saying all these things because afterall, if you weren't you, I wouldn't be able to say these things and we would definitely slowly drifted apart silently. Maybe the nature of our friendship has changed that our dependency on each other has totally changed. Just imagining how you'd be hurt after reading all this makes me want to give up because normally at this stage you'd want to totally be a stranger in my life. I understand that there's a limit to how much pressure and insensitivity you can take from me, and will understand if you choose to give up.
But if I don't say this out, I'm afraid you'd feel the growing distance between us without knowing why, and at the most, you'd be going for my funeral because the problem I feel about this friendship is not the only trouble I have. I don't feel like I'm driven to the edge, I'm handling my studies well. But its to the point that I cannot put my work down, I feel have no one to hang out with and just doing that with you so suddenly feels weird and wrong to me. I mean, having to tell you to hang out with me? C'mon, its like you're being instructed what to do. I want you to be yourself, but at the same time I wish you could be my sticky partner too.
One thing I noticed is, I'm always the one having problems with this friendship, and this makes me feel like deadweight too. I can't take this anymore.
I'm guessing a solution to this problem is you can't be that kind of sticky partner that I so wish I had because I'm really deprived of that kind of friendship. I guess I should take a step back and not attempt to sticky-friend with you because at the rate its going it doesn't seem to work out. You can't change that, so let's just go back to the way we were 3 years back.
setting aside what I told you recently by sms, I want to say these things, and no matter how insensitive this is, I think its better if you knew. I'm sorry that I can't sugarcoat these words.. the last thing I want to do is to hurt you, but I'm hurt, stressed and isolated enough as it is. I think its very difficult for me to consider your feelings this time round and as much as I don't want this post to destroy our friendship, or make you want to severe ties with me, I have absolutely NO ONE ELSE to talk to about all this so that I don't have to take it out on you. Every one person I think of.. it just feels that they live separate lives from me and I can't connect. But at least they hear me out. Still, no matter how they hear it out, I just feel that the problem will never alleviate and its like they're my alcohol to this problem, just a drug to numb the feelings for a while before having to take the drug again. I feel SO ALONE, and to me, you're basically not there anymore. I can't blame it on you either, because we DO LIVE separate lives, and we "don't get to meet often". I put "" because I know that in actual fact its me who "can't" meet up because of my work. I don't know what to say really. You try to reach out to me, but you also consider my priorities, my obligations, and everything else about me, so much so that you only ask how my day is, or have a great day, as if you're a stranger who's trying to wish me well. You never express your desires. So according to you, you don't say much but you care alot, I trust in that, but in all honesty, recently, just knowing you care isn't enough anymore. You can consider your busy schedule akin to mine, so if you know that I'm so occupied, do you think I have the time to actually remind myself "She cares for me."? Our friendship is only living on the messages we send each other. LOL, sounds pathetic isn't it? Its like in our busy schedules we just send random text messages to keep in contact. What's up with that? Its like a desperate attempt at keeping our friendship alive. Both of us do that. I'm not one to say this, and neither can I say something like this to someone like you but "Words alone aren't convincing enough." I'm sorry.
I don't know why I feel so negative about us right now, its probably because of the kind of life I have now - which you know only the general part - I'm studying frequently. I suspect I have to leave you alone often soon too since your semester will be starting, sad as that may seem. Because like you, I understand how important it is this new semester is to you like how my semester is to me. And so the consequence of this? We don't meet often. You don't even TELL me, you only explained to me ONCE that you wanted to ask me out ALOT OF TIMES but didn't attempt to since "you understood I needed to study" and didn't want to disturb me. And the very few times you did, I always rejected them because it was so out of the blue......Argh, I just don't know how to put it. Its just totally not like randomly going out with someone. If it were May Bo, yeah I could do a random hanging-out thing. I don't know but every time you try to ask me out, I just feel that its always at the wrong time. The way you ask, perhaps? I just...just...I don't know really, I don't even know what I'm feeling now whether its just profound sadness, depression, hurt, unsatisfaction, gosh I could write a list. There's just something wrong about us. I can't do normal things with you, I can only do sentimental things with you.
Do you even really know what's going on? No, because I don't tell you even when you ask. Why? Because its random, and I feel like I can't connect with you with what I can say to people who can really understand my situation. We're just so separated now and there's nothing I can do about it, nor suggest, that can make things better because whatever either of us do, it just feels out of the blue and plain weird.
Continuing from, "Do you even really know what's going on?" - No, obviously you don't. You want to know? Sure I'll say it here. Its not everyday I get to blog but just tonight I feel so so so pent up I can't take it anymore and I might just go kill myself from all these things. So I know you know that I'm constantly studying. Do you know what kind of consequence that has for me? Add in that I don't hang out with my uni clique because they all are the go-home-immediately type, and I'm not close to anyone of them, neither can I be close to some other people like I want to because they already have their sticky partner and I don't want to intrude. Do you know what I've become as a result? I'M BECOMING AN ISOLATED, LONESOME, DEPRESSED, SOCIALLY-DEPRIVED PERSON. Try adding on this, "I can't even connect to, nor find solace, in my closest friend anymore." I don't know what to do, there's no one helping me(yeah, according to adults that should be the case yeah we should be independent yeah I'm independent in my own ways), no one's telling me "Girl, you need to take a break." and even my family is like "I totally understand you need to study, don't worry (:" I feel like ABSOLUTELY NO ONE FUCKING CARES IF I HAVE A LIFE ANYMORE BECAUSE WHEN THEY SEE ME ALL THEY SEE IS ME STUDYING AND STUDYING AND STUDYING AND THEY GO "I should leave her to concentrate because that's her life right now." Of course I'm grateful, but you know, as a result, there's no one who can comfort me. I feel like I can keep crying and crying and crying nonstop to the point where I just give up crying and go end it all. I'm sorry, I'm not strong enough for such an onslaught of piling negative feelings that the only way out that I can think of is just to stop everything. Either go kill myself or just continue tumbling down the rabbit hole by going on like this because, afterall, like I always say, "One day's sleep will do the trick." (: !!!!
You're working now and I understand why you don't even come online, and that you're very tired once you're home and you have other obligations. Yeah, I totally understand this. But you know what kind of consequence this had on me? That I could never talk to you nor share my deepest troubles with you anymore because doing it on the phone or on sms just doesn't cut it. Its like "You're just being there for me. You're concerned for me." but you can't connect with me anymore, no matter how you should wish otherwise, and I'm serious when I say that. I just feel that I can't repair this anymore, we're just too separated, and I should just only talk to you about random things, but I can't share my troubles with you anymore. I suppose its because I'm superimposing on you my need for a sticky partner when clearly I really can't see you that way afterall. Before uni started everything was beautiful but at the start of this semester, with your presence in my life diminishing by a million times each week, add on the fact that you're the only person I only depend on for comfort and company right now, everything's changed. I'm sorry for superimposing my needs on our friendship..
I'm sorry for saying all these things because afterall, if you weren't you, I wouldn't be able to say these things and we would definitely slowly drifted apart silently. Maybe the nature of our friendship has changed that our dependency on each other has totally changed. Just imagining how you'd be hurt after reading all this makes me want to give up because normally at this stage you'd want to totally be a stranger in my life. I understand that there's a limit to how much pressure and insensitivity you can take from me, and will understand if you choose to give up.
But if I don't say this out, I'm afraid you'd feel the growing distance between us without knowing why, and at the most, you'd be going for my funeral because the problem I feel about this friendship is not the only trouble I have. I don't feel like I'm driven to the edge, I'm handling my studies well. But its to the point that I cannot put my work down, I feel have no one to hang out with and just doing that with you so suddenly feels weird and wrong to me. I mean, having to tell you to hang out with me? C'mon, its like you're being instructed what to do. I want you to be yourself, but at the same time I wish you could be my sticky partner too.
One thing I noticed is, I'm always the one having problems with this friendship, and this makes me feel like deadweight too. I can't take this anymore.
I'm guessing a solution to this problem is you can't be that kind of sticky partner that I so wish I had because I'm really deprived of that kind of friendship. I guess I should take a step back and not attempt to sticky-friend with you because at the rate its going it doesn't seem to work out. You can't change that, so let's just go back to the way we were 3 years back.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
some collection~
a continuation of reviewing the rest of the series I've completed!
WARNING: LONG POST AHEAD. BEWARE OF PICTURES OF BISHOUNEN. FANGIRLING ABUNDANT.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the pictures posted here. They belong to their respective owners. No copyright infringement intended.
all pictures linked.
house of five leaves:
I loved it, period. This series stands on its own, separated from your other more typical shows. Its a very life-oriented series, with no overall action plot, but mini arcs. And I LOVE IT. VERY REFRESHING. TOP ON MY LIST. And I LOVE the soundtrack! ITS ALMOST BRILLIANT! A combination of traditional japanese instrumental music with a little modern mix to give off the right emotion for each track. Currently listening to the soundtrack again XD Really, the tracks make me feel like I could re-watch this series for the refreshing and relaxing atmosphere it gives off. Aiya shit, think I could also rewatch Ristorante Paradiso too...SHIT XD!
Also, despite people hating the character designs, I like it (; Its a unique take, and its by the same author as Ristorante Paradiso, of which I'm also a HUGE fanGIRL of. WHY DON'T THEY HAVE ARTBOOKS FOR THEM!!! D: On a site note, its kind of weird hearing Daisuke Namikawa's low-voice-acting. Don't get me wrong, its easy to get into the character, its just that LOW-VOICE coming from someone who voiced FYE in TRC. Yeah. Like, imagine Sakurai Takahiro in HIGH-VOICE OMG NO THANKS. Oh yes, Sakurai-san voices Yaichi here ^_^ Namikawa-san voices Masanosuke yup. I still don't really get the hype about Sakurai Takahiro though. I mean, yes I like his voice, its *cough*very-yaoi-centric*cough* but I'm not going GAGA over it like I am for Daisuke Ono. LOL. Oh well.
Story in a nutshell: It follows the simple life-story of our timid ronin Akitsu Masanosuke who meets and gets hired as a bodyguard by the very mysterious and charismatic Yaichi. Masanosuke finds himself drawn to a strange bandit group who call themselves the "House of Five Leaves", of which Yaichi is the leader. Masanosuke is reluctant to help them, but as he grows closer to his eccentric new companions, he learns to relate to them and grow as a person in the process.
That cat is too cute ><
natsume yuujin-cho + zoku natsume yuujin-cho:
AHHHHH!!! I LOVED THIS. THIS TOPS MY LIST TOOOOOOO. Its VERY episodic, but it NEVER fails to impress me with the very-cute Nyanko-sensei (omg even the word "nyanko" is CUTE. I LOVED THAT EPISODE with the black cat that natsume calls KURO NYANKO OMG CUTE CUTE CUTE CUTE CUTE *BURSTS*) and the slightly indifferent but oh-so-handsome Natsume. AND OMG NYANKO-SENSEI IN HIS BEAST FORM IS SO OMG *NOSEBLEEDS* I love protective beasts ;) Its like Mai's very fearsome and majestic (yet loving, to me awwwww) Kagutsuchi from Mai HiME. AHHH!!! I LOVE BIG PROTECTIVE BEASTS. DO WANT PLS. Its like having a protective lover who would never leave you ;) In all, I LOVE THIS SERIES. It has a SERIOUS knack for capturing heartfelt emotional moments ;_;
KURO NYANKO. pu---BWAHAHAHAHA XD With Nyanko-sensei angry at how the other black cat is impersonating him just to get Natsume's attention (to his problem).
PLUS I LIKE HIROSHI KAMIYA HERE. He's got a serious talent for quick pronouncing. But he doesn't top Daisuke Ono, Jun Fukuyama, plus others 8DDD! oh yes, akira ishida's here too. but not much of a lingering presence XD
EDIT: After listening to a Hiroshi Kamiya mimic singing Ren'ai Circulation...LOL I think I've officially fallen in love with the voice XD SO I'M OFFICIALLY IN THE HIROSHI KAMIYA FANCLUB NAO. 8DD
...though, on a side note, I really disliked Miyuki Sawashiro's character -_-' I've only liked Sawashiro-san's voice when she's in *ahem*seme*ahem* pitch aka low. The shoujo-otome ones? No -_-' Although, Maaya Sakamoto's voice is good in low and high ^_^
also also also XD I LOVE Hinoe x3! *fangirl scream*
plus plus plus THIS LITTLE GUY IS FUCKING CUTE OMG DO WANT.
and and and LOL EVIL RABBIT.... NOT. AWWWW. He's actually a very cute/handsome protective spirit guardian ^_^
and LAST BUT NOT LEAST!......BENIO-SAMA!!!! *insert intense fangirl scream here*
true tears:
Its a good story, that's all I say. I've watched this here and there, but only really got around to watching this in one-shot this break. Its rated really good, with all that drama going on. But for me, I never really got into the series simply because I NEVER LIKED HIROMI. I really didn't like her. I loved Noe and Aiko though ^_^ Okay, enough character-ranting. Animation is splendid, and I especially liked the BG art. OH AND, I AM BIASED FOR JUN (Noe's brother), despite his serious sis-con (sister complex) problem, HE'S CUTE OMG. AND HIS VOICE TOO *MELTS* He's my FAVOURITE character despite being only on the sidelines in the plot... BUT STILL, JUN-SANA!!! XD
From top left corner, anti-clockwise: Hiromi, Aiko, Noe (second pic)
JUN-SAMA!!!! *fangirls*
dragon crisis:
hmm..nothing much to say about this. it was a very simple story (though it felt very messy), with characters lacking in some depth, but I still watched it till the end. Though, I loved Horie Yui's character here. Plus her voice is always good. She also voices a really awwww character in Otome Youkai Zakuro (which is also a PLUS PLUS PLUS GOOD SERIES LOVE IT. Sakurai Takahiro's character in it is good ^_^ its not low-pitched, nor high-pitched, but normal ;) seriously, Sakurai-san is really versatile in bringing out those emotions in his voices XD) okay back to dragon crisis. well, nothing more to say, really. its pretty mediocre >< LETS MOVE ON.
fractale:
this was really better than dragon crisis, though I would've wanted the story to flash out more about the "fractale" system that their world resides in, since the overall plot IS ABOUT the system itself. like dragon crisis, I've got nothing much to say here, except...NESSA IS SO EFFING CUTE AWWWW. PLUS VOICING BY KANA HANAZAWA OMG WIN. She's one of my favourite voice actresses aside from Horie Yui and a few others XD
NESSA:
eden of the east movies:
so this was a continuation from where the series left off and I must say, as usual the visuals were impressive. BUT the story still lacks a little depth...STILL! it was a good ride till the end, yup! Akira is still the really likeable hero in here ahahaha, but that's about it lol. the ending of the selecao game was a nice closure, what with a mini battle of wits, which never really pulled off >< I think Death Note's first half was better. (Pictures are from the anime series sadly :p)
Yeah, he DID kiss her in that scene ;D one smooth guy really. she was ranting about her day and how horrid it went and she was pretty upset about it (job interview). so he just went in for the kill to raise her spirits ;D
Le Chevalier d'Eon:
okay, I really liked this. I don't LOVE it, but I really like it ;) d'Eon is SUCH a young man XD I would so die to be his fiance :X anyways, this is a VERY history-heavy show, and not for people who prefer straight-forward ones. Its based on a period of France's history - the French Revolution, and centers on the French spy D'Eon de Beaumont. He takes it upon himself to trace the mystery of his sister's (Lia de Beaumont) death and finds himself trapped in a society of political rivalry, betrayals and loss. So its history + some fantasy elements = wonderful story yup. I honestly can't say I was VERY absorbed in it because it was difficult to follow what with all that history going on, but despite that, I still think its a really really good show for people who tire of typical anime shows. It was, truthfully, a very enjoyable ride.
Note: In history, D'Eon de Beaumont had no sister and was in fact a cross-dresser who goes by the alias Lia when dressed in women's clothing.
nabari no ou:
...I didn't like this. Despite it being rated well by the masses, I totally didn't like this show aside from ONE thing - the SIDE characters. Yes, you read that right, the SIDE characters, not the main. Rokujou's unbearable indifference until the end - oh gosh it was a PAIN to sit through it. There wasn't even enough development on WHY he had this indifference. And Yoite? I don't even know what to say. The WHOLE premise of this show is just Rokujou sticking to Yoite that culminates in the former granting the latter's wish. Yeah, sure, that's all fine and dandy. But wtf, even if the reason for their "close bond" is because Rokujou feels that they are mirror images of each other, there is almost absolutely ZERO development in that story. Like, why do both of them feel this way? We NEVER see a GOOD flash-out display of the REASONS that surround them. Gosh I was HALF frustrated watching this entire series. I am SO NOT GOING TO RECOMMEND it to anyone. It is, at best, a SUPER mediocre serious about characters. Its FINE if its NOT an action show despite it being about ninjas, so if the actual THING about this show is about CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT - I never saw ANY. From the main protagonists, to the antagonists, basically almost EVERYONE was just a stalemate. I say "almost" because the SIDE characters shine so much more than the main protagonists. EXCEPT ROKUJOU'S SENSEI. OMG THAT'S ONE FUCKING BALL-LESS WUSS. OMG I WANT TO JUST STOP TALKING ABOUT THIS SHOW. SO FUCKING UNBEARABLE. UGH. MOVING ON.
Evangelion: 2.0 You Can (Not) Advance:
I enjoyed this, period. I loved every bit of it. The characters are all so loveable, and obviously the PLOT is where it shines, along with the mecha action. I mean, how many post-apocalyptic shows are there nowadays anyway? Little. I absolutely CANNOT wait for the next installment in this four-movie series that sums up the whole anime yup. though of course, to understand the series, I had to read up about the original anime stories heh, since the movie doesn't do alot of explaining. but unlike nabari no ou, I COULD FEEL character development here, especially for Shinji. He has some serious father issues, and I clearly felt that struggle he was going through so much so that during the first half of the first movie, he was A TOTAL WUSS IN MY EYES. But in the second half, and subsequently in this second movie, we see how the people around him change his emotions and views about life and its issues. Oh sure it sounds corny, but seriously, its the people around you that change you to a certain extent, though ultimately the person to decide on that change, is YOU, YOURSELF.
WARNING: LONG POST AHEAD. BEWARE OF PICTURES OF BISHOUNEN. FANGIRLING ABUNDANT.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the pictures posted here. They belong to their respective owners. No copyright infringement intended.
all pictures linked.
house of five leaves:
I loved it, period. This series stands on its own, separated from your other more typical shows. Its a very life-oriented series, with no overall action plot, but mini arcs. And I LOVE IT. VERY REFRESHING. TOP ON MY LIST. And I LOVE the soundtrack! ITS ALMOST BRILLIANT! A combination of traditional japanese instrumental music with a little modern mix to give off the right emotion for each track. Currently listening to the soundtrack again XD Really, the tracks make me feel like I could re-watch this series for the refreshing and relaxing atmosphere it gives off. Aiya shit, think I could also rewatch Ristorante Paradiso too...SHIT XD!
Also, despite people hating the character designs, I like it (; Its a unique take, and its by the same author as Ristorante Paradiso, of which I'm also a HUGE fanGIRL of. WHY DON'T THEY HAVE ARTBOOKS FOR THEM!!! D: On a site note, its kind of weird hearing Daisuke Namikawa's low-voice-acting. Don't get me wrong, its easy to get into the character, its just that LOW-VOICE coming from someone who voiced FYE in TRC. Yeah. Like, imagine Sakurai Takahiro in HIGH-VOICE OMG NO THANKS. Oh yes, Sakurai-san voices Yaichi here ^_^ Namikawa-san voices Masanosuke yup. I still don't really get the hype about Sakurai Takahiro though. I mean, yes I like his voice, its *cough*very-yaoi-centric*cough* but I'm not going GAGA over it like I am for Daisuke Ono. LOL. Oh well.
Story in a nutshell: It follows the simple life-story of our timid ronin Akitsu Masanosuke who meets and gets hired as a bodyguard by the very mysterious and charismatic Yaichi. Masanosuke finds himself drawn to a strange bandit group who call themselves the "House of Five Leaves", of which Yaichi is the leader. Masanosuke is reluctant to help them, but as he grows closer to his eccentric new companions, he learns to relate to them and grow as a person in the process.
That cat is too cute ><
natsume yuujin-cho + zoku natsume yuujin-cho:
AHHHHH!!! I LOVED THIS. THIS TOPS MY LIST TOOOOOOO. Its VERY episodic, but it NEVER fails to impress me with the very-cute Nyanko-sensei (omg even the word "nyanko" is CUTE. I LOVED THAT EPISODE with the black cat that natsume calls KURO NYANKO OMG CUTE CUTE CUTE CUTE CUTE *BURSTS*) and the slightly indifferent but oh-so-handsome Natsume. AND OMG NYANKO-SENSEI IN HIS BEAST FORM IS SO OMG *NOSEBLEEDS* I love protective beasts ;) Its like Mai's very fearsome and majestic (yet loving, to me awwwww) Kagutsuchi from Mai HiME. AHHH!!! I LOVE BIG PROTECTIVE BEASTS. DO WANT PLS. Its like having a protective lover who would never leave you ;) In all, I LOVE THIS SERIES. It has a SERIOUS knack for capturing heartfelt emotional moments ;_;
KURO NYANKO. pu---BWAHAHAHAHA XD With Nyanko-sensei angry at how the other black cat is impersonating him just to get Natsume's attention (to his problem).
PLUS I LIKE HIROSHI KAMIYA HERE. He's got a serious talent for quick pronouncing. But he doesn't top Daisuke Ono, Jun Fukuyama, plus others 8DDD! oh yes, akira ishida's here too. but not much of a lingering presence XD
EDIT: After listening to a Hiroshi Kamiya mimic singing Ren'ai Circulation...LOL I think I've officially fallen in love with the voice XD SO I'M OFFICIALLY IN THE HIROSHI KAMIYA FANCLUB NAO. 8DD
...though, on a side note, I really disliked Miyuki Sawashiro's character -_-' I've only liked Sawashiro-san's voice when she's in *ahem*seme*ahem* pitch aka low. The shoujo-otome ones? No -_-' Although, Maaya Sakamoto's voice is good in low and high ^_^
also also also XD I LOVE Hinoe x3! *fangirl scream*
plus plus plus THIS LITTLE GUY IS FUCKING CUTE OMG DO WANT.
and and and LOL EVIL RABBIT.... NOT. AWWWW. He's actually a very cute/handsome protective spirit guardian ^_^
and LAST BUT NOT LEAST!......BENIO-SAMA!!!! *insert intense fangirl scream here*
true tears:
Its a good story, that's all I say. I've watched this here and there, but only really got around to watching this in one-shot this break. Its rated really good, with all that drama going on. But for me, I never really got into the series simply because I NEVER LIKED HIROMI. I really didn't like her. I loved Noe and Aiko though ^_^ Okay, enough character-ranting. Animation is splendid, and I especially liked the BG art. OH AND, I AM BIASED FOR JUN (Noe's brother), despite his serious sis-con (sister complex) problem, HE'S CUTE OMG. AND HIS VOICE TOO *MELTS* He's my FAVOURITE character despite being only on the sidelines in the plot... BUT STILL, JUN-SANA!!! XD
From top left corner, anti-clockwise: Hiromi, Aiko, Noe (second pic)
JUN-SAMA!!!! *fangirls*
dragon crisis:
hmm..nothing much to say about this. it was a very simple story (though it felt very messy), with characters lacking in some depth, but I still watched it till the end. Though, I loved Horie Yui's character here. Plus her voice is always good. She also voices a really awwww character in Otome Youkai Zakuro (which is also a PLUS PLUS PLUS GOOD SERIES LOVE IT. Sakurai Takahiro's character in it is good ^_^ its not low-pitched, nor high-pitched, but normal ;) seriously, Sakurai-san is really versatile in bringing out those emotions in his voices XD) okay back to dragon crisis. well, nothing more to say, really. its pretty mediocre >< LETS MOVE ON.
fractale:
this was really better than dragon crisis, though I would've wanted the story to flash out more about the "fractale" system that their world resides in, since the overall plot IS ABOUT the system itself. like dragon crisis, I've got nothing much to say here, except...NESSA IS SO EFFING CUTE AWWWW. PLUS VOICING BY KANA HANAZAWA OMG WIN. She's one of my favourite voice actresses aside from Horie Yui and a few others XD
NESSA:
eden of the east movies:
so this was a continuation from where the series left off and I must say, as usual the visuals were impressive. BUT the story still lacks a little depth...STILL! it was a good ride till the end, yup! Akira is still the really likeable hero in here ahahaha, but that's about it lol. the ending of the selecao game was a nice closure, what with a mini battle of wits, which never really pulled off >< I think Death Note's first half was better. (Pictures are from the anime series sadly :p)
Yeah, he DID kiss her in that scene ;D one smooth guy really. she was ranting about her day and how horrid it went and she was pretty upset about it (job interview). so he just went in for the kill to raise her spirits ;D
Le Chevalier d'Eon:
okay, I really liked this. I don't LOVE it, but I really like it ;) d'Eon is SUCH a young man XD I would so die to be his fiance :X anyways, this is a VERY history-heavy show, and not for people who prefer straight-forward ones. Its based on a period of France's history - the French Revolution, and centers on the French spy D'Eon de Beaumont. He takes it upon himself to trace the mystery of his sister's (Lia de Beaumont) death and finds himself trapped in a society of political rivalry, betrayals and loss. So its history + some fantasy elements = wonderful story yup. I honestly can't say I was VERY absorbed in it because it was difficult to follow what with all that history going on, but despite that, I still think its a really really good show for people who tire of typical anime shows. It was, truthfully, a very enjoyable ride.
Note: In history, D'Eon de Beaumont had no sister and was in fact a cross-dresser who goes by the alias Lia when dressed in women's clothing.
nabari no ou:
...I didn't like this. Despite it being rated well by the masses, I totally didn't like this show aside from ONE thing - the SIDE characters. Yes, you read that right, the SIDE characters, not the main. Rokujou's unbearable indifference until the end - oh gosh it was a PAIN to sit through it. There wasn't even enough development on WHY he had this indifference. And Yoite? I don't even know what to say. The WHOLE premise of this show is just Rokujou sticking to Yoite that culminates in the former granting the latter's wish. Yeah, sure, that's all fine and dandy. But wtf, even if the reason for their "close bond" is because Rokujou feels that they are mirror images of each other, there is almost absolutely ZERO development in that story. Like, why do both of them feel this way? We NEVER see a GOOD flash-out display of the REASONS that surround them. Gosh I was HALF frustrated watching this entire series. I am SO NOT GOING TO RECOMMEND it to anyone. It is, at best, a SUPER mediocre serious about characters. Its FINE if its NOT an action show despite it being about ninjas, so if the actual THING about this show is about CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT - I never saw ANY. From the main protagonists, to the antagonists, basically almost EVERYONE was just a stalemate. I say "almost" because the SIDE characters shine so much more than the main protagonists. EXCEPT ROKUJOU'S SENSEI. OMG THAT'S ONE FUCKING BALL-LESS WUSS. OMG I WANT TO JUST STOP TALKING ABOUT THIS SHOW. SO FUCKING UNBEARABLE. UGH. MOVING ON.
Evangelion: 2.0 You Can (Not) Advance:
I enjoyed this, period. I loved every bit of it. The characters are all so loveable, and obviously the PLOT is where it shines, along with the mecha action. I mean, how many post-apocalyptic shows are there nowadays anyway? Little. I absolutely CANNOT wait for the next installment in this four-movie series that sums up the whole anime yup. though of course, to understand the series, I had to read up about the original anime stories heh, since the movie doesn't do alot of explaining. but unlike nabari no ou, I COULD FEEL character development here, especially for Shinji. He has some serious father issues, and I clearly felt that struggle he was going through so much so that during the first half of the first movie, he was A TOTAL WUSS IN MY EYES. But in the second half, and subsequently in this second movie, we see how the people around him change his emotions and views about life and its issues. Oh sure it sounds corny, but seriously, its the people around you that change you to a certain extent, though ultimately the person to decide on that change, is YOU, YOURSELF.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
last regrets
scene 1
I feel like its better to just keep to myself from now on.. Its hard to confide in people. Its probably because of how I've shed that last piece of childish innocence at this age. This is so hard to put into words.. As you get older, the more selfish you become. "My heart is just full of thorns." I feel like crying.
I think the best song to describe how I feel right now is this: Just Be Friends
"I already knew deep inside my heart; that the most painful choice would be the best."
"I shouted until my voice was dry."
I feel like my heart is worn out and torn up inside that I don't know how to put how I'm feeling into solid words. But before I loose it..
I can't find the right person to talk to; it has to be someone who knows me well, who doesn't mind me being emotional, who ultimately doesn't say things or give out an aura that makes me feel like an idiot.
Everyone else has grown up... I feel like a kid. I don't want to share things with people who would look at me like I'm some sort of baby.
But I'm screaming inside, and I want to let it out to somebody - but I can't think of whom.
Like..I just feel that maybe I should just be normal friends and just let go of the bond that makes us all feel like true family. "Even though I love you, and I don't want to be apart from you - but I have to say it - that this is the end." Its easy to say that, but its a very painful thing to do. Its probably stupid of me to feel like this, since I know that I'm not someone who can live alone without family-like bonds.. I know I can't live alone like this, but its one of the few ways to keep your heart to yourself. Its not like being indifferent, its more like..to live with normal bonds that don't go beyond the line. Its a very sad thing..but its also one way to prevent yourself from getting hurt.
scene 2
its probably unfair of me to say this, but I wish that there was someone I could trust and he would take me far far away from this kind of life. a wide blue sky.. a field of flowers..like, there are no painful emotional bonds that exist there.
scene 3
I've talked about this once, but I'll do it again. When your closest bestest friends have found their someone, no matter how much they say "No no, you're still precious to me!" you will never feel the same again. Never.
I feel like I'm out of the circle already. Correction, I -have- been out of the circle for a while. I mean, I still believe in these precious friends, but...its just, everything's changed and there's no way we can go back to those old times. I'm not saying that I want to stay in the past- in fact, I don't; we should always move forward. These friends were, and will always, be precious to me, but I will forever be inferior to that someone.
Though I say this, I still firmly believe that friends are as important as your special someone. Friends will stay by you, they will always be with you. Special someone's can never top the seat.
But looking past that, you slowly see that compared to that special someone, whom your friend(s) will live and share their innermost lives with - the bond that you have with your friend(s) can never top that. There is no denying it, no matter how your friend tells you otherwise, its a feeling that will never go away. Its a feeling that us singles have to understand, accept, and move on from. As friends, we all are destined to reach such a conclusion. I don't care how other people try to convince me otherwise, as a single, I will forever feel inferior. Probably until I find my own someone. I understand that I will change my sentiments after I've found someone, but until then, I will always feel this way. There's no need for anyone to tell me "You'll understand when you've found that person (:" because I already understand it. So don't look at me like I'm a baby - I hate it.
I feel like its better to just keep to myself from now on.. Its hard to confide in people. Its probably because of how I've shed that last piece of childish innocence at this age. This is so hard to put into words.. As you get older, the more selfish you become. "My heart is just full of thorns." I feel like crying.
I think the best song to describe how I feel right now is this: Just Be Friends
"I already knew deep inside my heart; that the most painful choice would be the best."
"I shouted until my voice was dry."
I feel like my heart is worn out and torn up inside that I don't know how to put how I'm feeling into solid words. But before I loose it..
I can't find the right person to talk to; it has to be someone who knows me well, who doesn't mind me being emotional, who ultimately doesn't say things or give out an aura that makes me feel like an idiot.
Everyone else has grown up... I feel like a kid. I don't want to share things with people who would look at me like I'm some sort of baby.
But I'm screaming inside, and I want to let it out to somebody - but I can't think of whom.
Like..I just feel that maybe I should just be normal friends and just let go of the bond that makes us all feel like true family. "Even though I love you, and I don't want to be apart from you - but I have to say it - that this is the end." Its easy to say that, but its a very painful thing to do. Its probably stupid of me to feel like this, since I know that I'm not someone who can live alone without family-like bonds.. I know I can't live alone like this, but its one of the few ways to keep your heart to yourself. Its not like being indifferent, its more like..to live with normal bonds that don't go beyond the line. Its a very sad thing..but its also one way to prevent yourself from getting hurt.
scene 2
its probably unfair of me to say this, but I wish that there was someone I could trust and he would take me far far away from this kind of life. a wide blue sky.. a field of flowers..like, there are no painful emotional bonds that exist there.
scene 3
I've talked about this once, but I'll do it again. When your closest bestest friends have found their someone, no matter how much they say "No no, you're still precious to me!" you will never feel the same again. Never.
I feel like I'm out of the circle already. Correction, I -have- been out of the circle for a while. I mean, I still believe in these precious friends, but...its just, everything's changed and there's no way we can go back to those old times. I'm not saying that I want to stay in the past- in fact, I don't; we should always move forward. These friends were, and will always, be precious to me, but I will forever be inferior to that someone.
Though I say this, I still firmly believe that friends are as important as your special someone. Friends will stay by you, they will always be with you. Special someone's can never top the seat.
But looking past that, you slowly see that compared to that special someone, whom your friend(s) will live and share their innermost lives with - the bond that you have with your friend(s) can never top that. There is no denying it, no matter how your friend tells you otherwise, its a feeling that will never go away. Its a feeling that us singles have to understand, accept, and move on from. As friends, we all are destined to reach such a conclusion. I don't care how other people try to convince me otherwise, as a single, I will forever feel inferior. Probably until I find my own someone. I understand that I will change my sentiments after I've found someone, but until then, I will always feel this way. There's no need for anyone to tell me "You'll understand when you've found that person (:" because I already understand it. So don't look at me like I'm a baby - I hate it.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Monday, July 25, 2011
just a random update
I haven't been online for a few days owing to my sis revamping her whole room lol. i.e. disconnected modem. So the house right now is in a HUGE mess hahaha. With all her furniture and things, tables, desks etc. Everything's outside right now. She just finished painting the walls of her room on sunday and it looks really nice. And the new lighting my dad got for her from bangkok for her birthday - its hanging in her room now. Really pretty light and romantic lighting lol. Plus my own room and the living room has new lighting. Then dad had itchy hands to go get a new tv for the living room -_- so "old" (its only like, what, a few months old?) living room tv has replaced the kind-of spoiled one in my parents' room.
anyways,...its about 2 weeks till the new semester starts and I think its been a really, really good break. I did everything I wanted to, I did everything I enjoy doing, I'm satisfied. So I'm looking forward to the coming semester now. Though, I must say that I'm scared since I think the modules are going to be killers. I swear I'm going to cry when my second upper honors flies away. I'm very very scared.
I haven't been online for a few days owing to my sis revamping her whole room lol. i.e. disconnected modem. So the house right now is in a HUGE mess hahaha. With all her furniture and things, tables, desks etc. Everything's outside right now. She just finished painting the walls of her room on sunday and it looks really nice. And the new lighting my dad got for her from bangkok for her birthday - its hanging in her room now. Really pretty light and romantic lighting lol. Plus my own room and the living room has new lighting. Then dad had itchy hands to go get a new tv for the living room -_- so "old" (its only like, what, a few months old?) living room tv has replaced the kind-of spoiled one in my parents' room.
anyways,...its about 2 weeks till the new semester starts and I think its been a really, really good break. I did everything I wanted to, I did everything I enjoy doing, I'm satisfied. So I'm looking forward to the coming semester now. Though, I must say that I'm scared since I think the modules are going to be killers. I swear I'm going to cry when my second upper honors flies away. I'm very very scared.
Monday, July 18, 2011
Scene 1
I think I've temporarily lost abit of the anime-watching passion this past two weeks >< I mean, I'm still watching, but I'm strangely not as into the stories as I hoped I'd be. Hmm.. They're really great shows, that's the only reason why I'd want to watch them. But it seems that I couldn't get ABSORBED into it, you know? Before the last two weeks, 99% of the anime series I watched since the break started - I got into them really easily. Like I would forget everything when I was absorbed into the story. But recently that's changed.. Maybe its a sign that I've watched enough, and that I should leave the rest till the next break? I think that's what I need to do...though I'm still "left" with 3 series to cover before the break ends. Is it because that I'm just "watching to finish the list" that I can't enjoy it as I'd want to? I must approach watching with my previous mindset of "Lets watch that!" instead of the now-mindset "I've to watch before break ends."
Or maybe the stories were just a tad bit too complex that it was difficult to sbsorb? Hmm..
Scene 2
I think I'm desperate for a relationship. Or something like that. But primarily not for the companionship... I just want to know who I am in a relationship. How would I behave in it? How do I carry myself? What does it mean to have someone special? Am I romantic? Or sweet? Or caring? Or cool? (lol, scratch that last)
I want to find someone, and I want to find myself.
I think I've temporarily lost abit of the anime-watching passion this past two weeks >< I mean, I'm still watching, but I'm strangely not as into the stories as I hoped I'd be. Hmm.. They're really great shows, that's the only reason why I'd want to watch them. But it seems that I couldn't get ABSORBED into it, you know? Before the last two weeks, 99% of the anime series I watched since the break started - I got into them really easily. Like I would forget everything when I was absorbed into the story. But recently that's changed.. Maybe its a sign that I've watched enough, and that I should leave the rest till the next break? I think that's what I need to do...though I'm still "left" with 3 series to cover before the break ends. Is it because that I'm just "watching to finish the list" that I can't enjoy it as I'd want to? I must approach watching with my previous mindset of "Lets watch that!" instead of the now-mindset "I've to watch before break ends."
Or maybe the stories were just a tad bit too complex that it was difficult to sbsorb? Hmm..
Scene 2
I think I'm desperate for a relationship. Or something like that. But primarily not for the companionship... I just want to know who I am in a relationship. How would I behave in it? How do I carry myself? What does it mean to have someone special? Am I romantic? Or sweet? Or caring? Or cool? (lol, scratch that last)
I want to find someone, and I want to find myself.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
本当は。。
...companionship eh?
I can't help but feel "Who would want to date someone like me?" I don't have alot of qualities that shine, I am still quite immature.. I can't think of anyone I know so far who'd be crazy enough to want to even think of me as a possible companion.
Right now, the "me" right now - can I really be a good companion to anyone?? I mean well, couples grow together, but first to actually -get- together the other person has to think of me as worthy or something, right? I feel like I'm the one who needs companionship.
Oh well.
(continued 6 hours later)
The truth is I'm just lonely. Everyone's lonely, right? Yes. Here's the question: when you're lonely and desire some sort of companionship..do you turn to the person (of the opposite sex)you're closest to to fulfill that emptiness inside? Is it fair? Is it real? Is it because you like him that you turn to him? (Of course not lol, but you get the point.) Its like, you're driven to the edge and have no one else to turn to to complete your love life. JUST WHAT IS IT THAT COMPELS ME TO DO THIS?! I am just SO confused. Is it because you like him? Or is it because he's the only guy you know (so far) who's "close" to you? I DON'T UNDERSTAND!! (Getting frustrated here as I'm typing this HAHAHA. I just really don't know how to describe this feeling/confusion.)
on another note..I think I understand "companionship" a little better now..It feels like the kind of relationship that Chiaki and Nodame have in Nodame Cantabile. Its not as if its like "I can live without seeing you everyday." but it feels like that.. I don't think I want something like that. If there's nothing much drawing us together (leaving aside interests) then why do you even stay with each other? Just because finding someone else would be too hard? I don't see the point in being with someone then. Not that I'd rather be alone, but yes, that's the general feeling. I don't want to be in a companionship if it feels like we're living in completely different lives/houses. You're together, but at the same time you're not. You have your life, and I have mine. What's the point in being together? You can always find someone else - its just the effort needed to do so.
I can't help but feel "Who would want to date someone like me?" I don't have alot of qualities that shine, I am still quite immature.. I can't think of anyone I know so far who'd be crazy enough to want to even think of me as a possible companion.
Right now, the "me" right now - can I really be a good companion to anyone?? I mean well, couples grow together, but first to actually -get- together the other person has to think of me as worthy or something, right? I feel like I'm the one who needs companionship.
Oh well.
(continued 6 hours later)
The truth is I'm just lonely. Everyone's lonely, right? Yes. Here's the question: when you're lonely and desire some sort of companionship..do you turn to the person (of the opposite sex)you're closest to to fulfill that emptiness inside? Is it fair? Is it real? Is it because you like him that you turn to him? (Of course not lol, but you get the point.) Its like, you're driven to the edge and have no one else to turn to to complete your love life. JUST WHAT IS IT THAT COMPELS ME TO DO THIS?! I am just SO confused. Is it because you like him? Or is it because he's the only guy you know (so far) who's "close" to you? I DON'T UNDERSTAND!! (Getting frustrated here as I'm typing this HAHAHA. I just really don't know how to describe this feeling/confusion.)
on another note..I think I understand "companionship" a little better now..It feels like the kind of relationship that Chiaki and Nodame have in Nodame Cantabile. Its not as if its like "I can live without seeing you everyday." but it feels like that.. I don't think I want something like that. If there's nothing much drawing us together (leaving aside interests) then why do you even stay with each other? Just because finding someone else would be too hard? I don't see the point in being with someone then. Not that I'd rather be alone, but yes, that's the general feeling. I don't want to be in a companionship if it feels like we're living in completely different lives/houses. You're together, but at the same time you're not. You have your life, and I have mine. What's the point in being together? You can always find someone else - its just the effort needed to do so.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
I had the strangest dream last night....
Apparently, I got married in it! At 21 o_O It was a most peculiar marriage though, I remember it not being a ceremony nor a gathering. Maybe it was held in a small function room and there was just the ring-slipping onto my finger, that was the marriage. Some other fantasy-like things happened after that... It was most peculiar.
I remember exactly how the ring looks like and everything about it. The ring was a perfect size, and it fit onto my finger like it would never drop off. Something like, a perfect, tight, fit. And apparently in my dream world, the marriage finger is the fourth finger on the right hand. The ring was made of 925 silver - strange isn't it? But in the dream, it wasn't strange at all, we(uh, him and I) both know it would rust, but we both somehow had the same thoughts and understanding that diamond rings were for more older and mature people, and it was something *he* couldn't afford to buy just at that moment(I'm not sure if in the dream I could afford one either hahaha. But the dream explicitly pointed out that *he* couldn't juuuuuuust yet.) But I was alright with it anyways, and I truthfully am in reality when I think about this dream. I also remember what the ring looks like, and the method of putting it on so that it fits perfectly. And the last thing I remember, and its a clear sensation, was the feeling of that ring on my finger; that perfect tight fit. That "marriage finger" on my right hand still tingles hahaha. (I shall upload a picture of the ring's design soon..but for now I'm in a rush to go out!)
Strangely, this feeling of the ring on my finger seems precious to me. I'm strangely attached to this feeling lol.
Apparently, I got married in it! At 21 o_O It was a most peculiar marriage though, I remember it not being a ceremony nor a gathering. Maybe it was held in a small function room and there was just the ring-slipping onto my finger, that was the marriage. Some other fantasy-like things happened after that... It was most peculiar.
I remember exactly how the ring looks like and everything about it. The ring was a perfect size, and it fit onto my finger like it would never drop off. Something like, a perfect, tight, fit. And apparently in my dream world, the marriage finger is the fourth finger on the right hand. The ring was made of 925 silver - strange isn't it? But in the dream, it wasn't strange at all, we(uh, him and I) both know it would rust, but we both somehow had the same thoughts and understanding that diamond rings were for more older and mature people, and it was something *he* couldn't afford to buy just at that moment(I'm not sure if in the dream I could afford one either hahaha. But the dream explicitly pointed out that *he* couldn't juuuuuuust yet.) But I was alright with it anyways, and I truthfully am in reality when I think about this dream. I also remember what the ring looks like, and the method of putting it on so that it fits perfectly. And the last thing I remember, and its a clear sensation, was the feeling of that ring on my finger; that perfect tight fit. That "marriage finger" on my right hand still tingles hahaha. (I shall upload a picture of the ring's design soon..but for now I'm in a rush to go out!)
Strangely, this feeling of the ring on my finger seems precious to me. I'm strangely attached to this feeling lol.
Friday, July 1, 2011
ion
walkwalkwalkwalk with pretty Doc. Chim today. she was kind enough to be my slav--*cough* to keep me company today. =D love you muchies =X MOAR BALLZ PLZ.
mom taught me some useful eyeshadow tips when we all got home XD I SHALL PUT THESE TIPS TO GOOD USE!
DAPHNE. Damn worried leh. I hope you recover well.. *cry* I cannot imagine my life without you!
mom taught me some useful eyeshadow tips when we all got home XD I SHALL PUT THESE TIPS TO GOOD USE!
DAPHNE. Damn worried leh. I hope you recover well.. *cry* I cannot imagine my life without you!
Sunday, June 19, 2011
some collection~
just a collection of my final few thoughts about every series I've watched in the holidays =X
edit: at first I wanted to just post this as it is, but now that I think about it, having pictures for viewers to look at won't hurt either ^^ so I went on a picture hunt for these shows, and I got carried away, to the point that this post is going to be chock full of pictures lol.
WARNING: LONG POST AHEAD. BEWARE OF PICTURES OF BISHOUNEN. FANGIRLING ABUNDANT.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the pictures posted here. They belong to their respective owners. No copyright infringement intended.
all pictures linked.
shinrei tantei yakumo::
the first thing was DAISUKE ONO WHO VOICED THE MAIN MALE CHARACTER WHO'S A BISHOUNEN. <3 And the slowly-growing-but-surely-there romance between him and the girl 8D!! though at the end the romance didn't development into something SOLID (i.e. confession), it was still there 8D
sample bishounen:
and he gets the girl despite being the sarcastic type:
gundam 00: A Wakening of the Trailblazer:
okay, aside from the stupid flower at the end, the whole movie was enjoyable on so many levels. some brilliant robot fights ;OOOOO and moar pretty boys ;OOO pretty solid story~ I am SO GLAD that setsuna didn't end up with marina. I hate her :\ (movie was a continuation of the original anime series~)
sample pictar:
manabi straight:
this was the anime that made me feel SO STRONGLY about how important it is to Have Fun everyday of our lives x) I loved this anime because its inspiring on that level. there are just so many fun things you could do!
sample pictar of the importance to have FUN:
main character of FUN (she makes me want to keep doing fun things):
baccano!:
okay, this was like...first off, my final final impression after watching this TWICE in order to get the story and timeline in order is that I LOVE THIS SHOW. like SRSLY. the story-telling is DELICATE. and I fell in love with Takehito Koyasu's voice here. plus the character he gave life to - cute guy ;D its a story related to english mafia XD and I just TOTALLY LOVE some of the SRSLY CRAZY CHARACTERS HERE OMG FANGIRL HERE 8DDDD
sample pictar of series:
LUCK GANDOR, the mafia-handsome mannnn 8DD my FAVVV, and voiced by Takehito Koyasu<3 :
yeah, bloodied crazy assassin gets the girl too, he's SO CHARMING on that level 8D:
^ yeah..I love you too 8D
another lunatic who loves killing. they aren't getting married yet...but he's SO in love with her 8D he just likes how bloody red looks so pretty against WHITE. he's SUCH a romantic when he tells her "You're the last I kill before I die." AWWWW. MARRY ME. And she loves him to bits too ;D just that she can't really handle that crazy-killing-spree attitude of his:
CRAZY SCREW DRIVER GUY OMG I LOVE HIM:
uraboku:
SEIYUU BUFFET. hands down. 'nuff said. yeah, that's what it is. ALL OF MY FAVOURITE SEIYUUS IN THIS SHOW OMG I COULD DIE. (Seiyuu = voice actor). And this is also one of the rarer times when I totally like a female character in a reverse harem show. she's just so adorable XD she's a side character, but still I love her XD. BODERLINE BL MADE ME GO CRAZY. and actually, not all of my favourite seiyuus were in it. 90% of them were, but THE NUMBER ONE SEIYUU ON MY LIST WASN'T OMG NOOOOOOOOOOOO. Katsuyuki Konishi wasn't in it ):
sample pictars of series' cast:
AND, not to forget, the VERY handsome, and VERY SENSUALLY VOICED (by Takehito Koyasu), TAKESHIRO-SAMA!:
durarara:
I kept hearing alot about this show and how good it was, and coincidentally its by the same author as baccano, just that this is a more recent show compared to baccano. BUT, BACCANO IS BETTER. I deno why, but Durarara just doesn't top it. I mean I liked it, and the character interactions were SRSLY SUPERB. But the story just isn't as complete as I would've wanted it to be, probably because of how the novels are still ongoing. I'm a HUGE FANGIRL of one of the characters Shizuo Heiwajima here. HE'S VOICED BY DAISUKE ONO TOO. now I understand the hype about Shizuo 8DDDDDD
KYAAA!!! SHIZUO-SAMA!!! and IZAYA <3:
some better depictions of IZAYA <3:
level E:
HOLY SHIET THIS SHOW WAS JUST EPIC ON SO MANY LEVELS. First off, the insane comedy. I was like ROFL XDDDD And the voice acting here was BRILLIANT. by brilliant I mean how the voicing gave so much life during the comedic parts. and TAKEHITO KOYASU AGAIN. nosrsly, the first time I heard him was in LOVELESS, and that was years ago. and then suddenly this holiday break, I hear him in almost every single show that I've watched so far. THIS MUST BE FATE. 8D and I also love how the character designs isn't fan-service. its old-school style animation. no bishounen, no bishoujo, but the characters aren't ugly tho, they're just not drawn in the typical pretty-style. I still like it nonetheless. no qualms about anything regarding this show.
sample pictars of LOL scenes:
01:
02:
^captain kraft(has a grudge towards prince baka):
according to my maternal grandmother, the best way to cure amnesia is to recreate the shock that caused it. (smug face)
prince baka(with amnesia):
that's just an old wives' tale! wait, why do you look so happy about it? (01)
captain kraft:
I know, I know! I don't want to do it either! But we've no other choice!
...so prince baka got mugged ^ (02)
kuroshitsuji II:
eh, don't want to even talk about this show. its just chock full of fanservice for girls lol (not that I'm complaining 8D). some of the stuff were even borderline BL LOL (that made me go KYA!!!!! 8DDDD). but I TOTALLY DID NOT LIKE THE ORIGINAL(because the manga is still ongoing) ENDING. OMG KILL ME I REALLY DIDN'T WANT TO SEE IT. -_- No pictures, because I don't want to put them up for this series -_-
bakemonogatari:
first thing I know about this show is that it was highly anticipated in all aspects - animation, story, uniqueness blablabla. at first I liked it, but then I hated it when they went for the romance and THAT WAS IT. I DROPPED THIS SHOW. Its a DAMN HQ SHOW, but I just couldn't take the romance anymore. I hated it, hands down. :\ SOMEBODY WASH THIS BAD AFTERTASTE -_- No pictures here either, because I really disliked it THAT much.
steins-gate (still airing):
okay, I LOVE THIS SHOW. firstly because Miyano Mamoru's voice acting here is JUST BRILLIANT. ITS BRILLIANT LIKE SRSLY. I've never understood the hype about his voice acting; when he debuted he voiced Tamaki in Ouran, Light in Death Note, and Zero in Vampire Knight - shows that were good, but never topped my lists. So naturally I wouldn't notice his voice here because I wasn't going GAGA for his characters. but in Steins;Gate, this was the FIRST TIME EVER that I noticed his SUPERB voice acting. I swear HIS VOICE IS JUST SO DAMN VERSATILE. I fell in love with it instantly. and I like this whole show in general in all aspects. No pictures because this show is more of PLOT and BRILLIANT VOICE ACTING BY MIYANO MAMORU than pretty boys and girls.
star driver:
MIYANO MAMORU AGAIN. LOVE HIS VOICING HERE OMG. I absolutely LOVE how he brings SO MUCH LIFE into Takuto(main character) in this show. He makes Takuto a VERY VERY likeable character, definitely. I love Takuto ;DD And also as always, Akira Ishida's voice acting. Plus JUN FUKUYAMA YAIZ. Okay okay, aside from the voice acting, this show was CHOCK FULL OF FLAMBOYANT DISPLAYS OF LOL, in a VERY good way. Its a really good series if you look past the repetitive fight scenes ;)) The MOST flamboyant-LOL, imaginative, ambitious I've ever seen. well, that's an exaggeration, but you get what I mean.
FABULOUS boys, they're just gorgeous on so many levels. voice, personality, character design - you name it:
I LOVE her, what with that SEXY LOOK, VOICE, and PERSONALITY of hers, along with her ever-infamous GARASU-KISSU (Kissing through the glass):
red garden:
THIS WAS GOOD. despite the at-first unappealing character designs and the OVERLOAD OF DORAMA during the first few episodes, the pace of the show quickly picked up and fervently displayed the ever-developing character interactions and stories. setting aside the pretty HORRID spontaneous singing of songs throughout the episodes, the highlight of this show is, without a doubt, the character development. man I need to read more so that my vocabulary bank expands and I can express properly how I feel about this show XD
sample pictars:
eden of the east:
like bakemonogatari, this was another highly-anticipated show by the masses. I was blown away with the first few episodes, until the next few all the way till the end it just went a little downhill for me. don't get me wrong, its still a pretty good show in its own right, but I wished the story was flashed out more. 12 episodes don't do this justice, but at least they didn't rush this out. here's hoping that the two movies that I'll watch soon enough, will give this show enough closure hmm. will give my final final final impressions about this series when I get down to watching the two movies XD
I hope you enjoyed this FABULOUS post 8D
edit: at first I wanted to just post this as it is, but now that I think about it, having pictures for viewers to look at won't hurt either ^^ so I went on a picture hunt for these shows, and I got carried away, to the point that this post is going to be chock full of pictures lol.
WARNING: LONG POST AHEAD. BEWARE OF PICTURES OF BISHOUNEN. FANGIRLING ABUNDANT.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the pictures posted here. They belong to their respective owners. No copyright infringement intended.
all pictures linked.
shinrei tantei yakumo::
the first thing was DAISUKE ONO WHO VOICED THE MAIN MALE CHARACTER WHO'S A BISHOUNEN. <3 And the slowly-growing-but-surely-there romance between him and the girl 8D!! though at the end the romance didn't development into something SOLID (i.e. confession), it was still there 8D
sample bishounen:
and he gets the girl despite being the sarcastic type:
gundam 00: A Wakening of the Trailblazer:
okay, aside from the stupid flower at the end, the whole movie was enjoyable on so many levels. some brilliant robot fights ;OOOOO and moar pretty boys ;OOO pretty solid story~ I am SO GLAD that setsuna didn't end up with marina. I hate her :\ (movie was a continuation of the original anime series~)
sample pictar:
manabi straight:
this was the anime that made me feel SO STRONGLY about how important it is to Have Fun everyday of our lives x) I loved this anime because its inspiring on that level. there are just so many fun things you could do!
sample pictar of the importance to have FUN:
main character of FUN (she makes me want to keep doing fun things):
baccano!:
okay, this was like...first off, my final final impression after watching this TWICE in order to get the story and timeline in order is that I LOVE THIS SHOW. like SRSLY. the story-telling is DELICATE. and I fell in love with Takehito Koyasu's voice here. plus the character he gave life to - cute guy ;D its a story related to english mafia XD and I just TOTALLY LOVE some of the SRSLY CRAZY CHARACTERS HERE OMG FANGIRL HERE 8DDDD
sample pictar of series:
LUCK GANDOR, the mafia-handsome mannnn 8DD my FAVVV, and voiced by Takehito Koyasu<3 :
yeah, bloodied crazy assassin gets the girl too, he's SO CHARMING on that level 8D:
^ yeah..I love you too 8D
another lunatic who loves killing. they aren't getting married yet...but he's SO in love with her 8D he just likes how bloody red looks so pretty against WHITE. he's SUCH a romantic when he tells her "You're the last I kill before I die." AWWWW. MARRY ME. And she loves him to bits too ;D just that she can't really handle that crazy-killing-spree attitude of his:
CRAZY SCREW DRIVER GUY OMG I LOVE HIM:
uraboku:
SEIYUU BUFFET. hands down. 'nuff said. yeah, that's what it is. ALL OF MY FAVOURITE SEIYUUS IN THIS SHOW OMG I COULD DIE. (Seiyuu = voice actor). And this is also one of the rarer times when I totally like a female character in a reverse harem show. she's just so adorable XD she's a side character, but still I love her XD. BODERLINE BL MADE ME GO CRAZY. and actually, not all of my favourite seiyuus were in it. 90% of them were, but THE NUMBER ONE SEIYUU ON MY LIST WASN'T OMG NOOOOOOOOOOOO. Katsuyuki Konishi wasn't in it ):
sample pictars of series' cast:
AND, not to forget, the VERY handsome, and VERY SENSUALLY VOICED (by Takehito Koyasu), TAKESHIRO-SAMA!:
durarara:
I kept hearing alot about this show and how good it was, and coincidentally its by the same author as baccano, just that this is a more recent show compared to baccano. BUT, BACCANO IS BETTER. I deno why, but Durarara just doesn't top it. I mean I liked it, and the character interactions were SRSLY SUPERB. But the story just isn't as complete as I would've wanted it to be, probably because of how the novels are still ongoing. I'm a HUGE FANGIRL of one of the characters Shizuo Heiwajima here. HE'S VOICED BY DAISUKE ONO TOO. now I understand the hype about Shizuo 8DDDDDD
KYAAA!!! SHIZUO-SAMA!!! and IZAYA <3:
some better depictions of IZAYA <3:
level E:
HOLY SHIET THIS SHOW WAS JUST EPIC ON SO MANY LEVELS. First off, the insane comedy. I was like ROFL XDDDD And the voice acting here was BRILLIANT. by brilliant I mean how the voicing gave so much life during the comedic parts. and TAKEHITO KOYASU AGAIN. nosrsly, the first time I heard him was in LOVELESS, and that was years ago. and then suddenly this holiday break, I hear him in almost every single show that I've watched so far. THIS MUST BE FATE. 8D and I also love how the character designs isn't fan-service. its old-school style animation. no bishounen, no bishoujo, but the characters aren't ugly tho, they're just not drawn in the typical pretty-style. I still like it nonetheless. no qualms about anything regarding this show.
sample pictars of LOL scenes:
01:
02:
^captain kraft(has a grudge towards prince baka):
according to my maternal grandmother, the best way to cure amnesia is to recreate the shock that caused it. (smug face)
prince baka(with amnesia):
that's just an old wives' tale! wait, why do you look so happy about it? (01)
captain kraft:
I know, I know! I don't want to do it either! But we've no other choice!
...so prince baka got mugged ^ (02)
kuroshitsuji II:
eh, don't want to even talk about this show. its just chock full of fanservice for girls lol (not that I'm complaining 8D). some of the stuff were even borderline BL LOL (that made me go KYA!!!!! 8DDDD). but I TOTALLY DID NOT LIKE THE ORIGINAL(because the manga is still ongoing) ENDING. OMG KILL ME I REALLY DIDN'T WANT TO SEE IT. -_- No pictures, because I don't want to put them up for this series -_-
bakemonogatari:
first thing I know about this show is that it was highly anticipated in all aspects - animation, story, uniqueness blablabla. at first I liked it, but then I hated it when they went for the romance and THAT WAS IT. I DROPPED THIS SHOW. Its a DAMN HQ SHOW, but I just couldn't take the romance anymore. I hated it, hands down. :\ SOMEBODY WASH THIS BAD AFTERTASTE -_- No pictures here either, because I really disliked it THAT much.
steins-gate (still airing):
okay, I LOVE THIS SHOW. firstly because Miyano Mamoru's voice acting here is JUST BRILLIANT. ITS BRILLIANT LIKE SRSLY. I've never understood the hype about his voice acting; when he debuted he voiced Tamaki in Ouran, Light in Death Note, and Zero in Vampire Knight - shows that were good, but never topped my lists. So naturally I wouldn't notice his voice here because I wasn't going GAGA for his characters. but in Steins;Gate, this was the FIRST TIME EVER that I noticed his SUPERB voice acting. I swear HIS VOICE IS JUST SO DAMN VERSATILE. I fell in love with it instantly. and I like this whole show in general in all aspects. No pictures because this show is more of PLOT and BRILLIANT VOICE ACTING BY MIYANO MAMORU than pretty boys and girls.
star driver:
MIYANO MAMORU AGAIN. LOVE HIS VOICING HERE OMG. I absolutely LOVE how he brings SO MUCH LIFE into Takuto(main character) in this show. He makes Takuto a VERY VERY likeable character, definitely. I love Takuto ;DD And also as always, Akira Ishida's voice acting. Plus JUN FUKUYAMA YAIZ. Okay okay, aside from the voice acting, this show was CHOCK FULL OF FLAMBOYANT DISPLAYS OF LOL, in a VERY good way. Its a really good series if you look past the repetitive fight scenes ;)) The MOST flamboyant-LOL, imaginative, ambitious I've ever seen. well, that's an exaggeration, but you get what I mean.
FABULOUS boys, they're just gorgeous on so many levels. voice, personality, character design - you name it:
I LOVE her, what with that SEXY LOOK, VOICE, and PERSONALITY of hers, along with her ever-infamous GARASU-KISSU (Kissing through the glass):
red garden:
THIS WAS GOOD. despite the at-first unappealing character designs and the OVERLOAD OF DORAMA during the first few episodes, the pace of the show quickly picked up and fervently displayed the ever-developing character interactions and stories. setting aside the pretty HORRID spontaneous singing of songs throughout the episodes, the highlight of this show is, without a doubt, the character development. man I need to read more so that my vocabulary bank expands and I can express properly how I feel about this show XD
sample pictars:
eden of the east:
like bakemonogatari, this was another highly-anticipated show by the masses. I was blown away with the first few episodes, until the next few all the way till the end it just went a little downhill for me. don't get me wrong, its still a pretty good show in its own right, but I wished the story was flashed out more. 12 episodes don't do this justice, but at least they didn't rush this out. here's hoping that the two movies that I'll watch soon enough, will give this show enough closure hmm. will give my final final final impressions about this series when I get down to watching the two movies XD
I hope you enjoyed this FABULOUS post 8D
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